(no subject)

Dear Lost.

This is a dear John letter. I'm sorry, but that's it. I was bored most of the way through Series 2 and I really don't care what happens to the characters Hurley left behind. Shoot them. Push them in the water. Who cares. Not even Sawyer is enough of a pull. Frankly.

no-one's going to care, my one rating is not going to make much difference, but I'm sure I'm not the only one. I don't like being led around by the nose and learning nothing. I don't like having mystery heaped on top of mystery on top of enigma.

If you are going to make it MORE mysterious... Ooooo - is it all being funded by Jim from Neighbours?

THEN YOU NEED TO ANSWER SOME OF THE OTHER QUESTIONS like the black smoky pully things, the dinosaur noises and the fucking polar bears.

Give us a reason to CARE.

Good bye.

No Love

Me.

(no subject)

Gacked this off the Erotica Reader and Writers' email group. Many thanks to Arthur Peter, a man after my own heart. *dies giggling*

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Some helpful rules for better writing:

1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.

5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat)

6. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

7. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.

8. Be more or less specific.

9. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.

10. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.

11. No sentence fragments.

12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly
superfluous.

14. One should NEVER generalize.

15. Don't use no double negatives.

16. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

17. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

18. The passive voice is to be ignored.

19. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.

20. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.

21. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell
me what you know."

22. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole;
not one writer in a million can use it correctly.