Lets talk about sex (again)

[erastes]

Jessewave has an interesting discussion going (I love Jessewave's Blog because she so often has interesting discussions) about "m/m" and the level of sex and emotional impact within them. E.g. what do people like? When is too much? Etc etc. Pop along and add your two cents.

What interested me was the promiscuity section. I've seen this discussed on many a het romance forum and I am gobsmacked that most people don't want promiscuity in their book, or unfaithfulness at least. They don't want any unfaithfulness at all from their heroes once they've met "the one."  I find this baffling, really.  Unfaithfulness (as I said in the discussion) is a standard romance trope.

I mean - look at Gone with the Wind (to pull one title from the ether) if Scarlett had remained "true" to either Ashley or Rhett it would have been a much smaller, and a much lesser book. She wouldn't have got married twice for a start.

In these discussions of both types (m/f and m/m) people say they won't read on if someone is unfaithful--they'd certainly not have got far with Standish then, with Rafe and his brain in his breeches.

Do you agree?  Do you think it's because people think--deep down--that a Rake can't ever be reformed and that the HEA won't last?

So after you've commented on Wave's discussion, pop back and talk to me about unfaithfulness, will ya?

ETA: R W Day is also discussing this, purely co-incidentally, so go and chat to her too!!

Comments

[lferion]

I don't see 'having sex with other people' as by definition unfaithful. I think it depends on the characters, the relationship(s) they have, the expectations they have of themselves and others and the circumstances they live in. But then, I believe in polyamory too :-). Even with marriage it is going to depend on what it was the people actually swore to each other.

I, personally, have an embarrasment squick, and I really don't like reading the parts where characters I care about are being Really Stupid (Miles Vorkosigan at the beginning of 'Memory') though I like the recovering from the consequences part. (I really don't like suspense, either -- it makes me feel physically ill -- so 'waiting for the other shoe to drop' is not my favorite part of that scenario either.)

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I certainly don't either. Granted if the couple have gone and got married, that's another matter, but still managable. But just because a couple of whatever gender and orientation have fallen in love that doesn't imply any kind of commitment necessarily and as you say, it depends entirely on the plot, the characters and the circumstances.

[lee-rowan.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, yes. I seldom want to scream at a character in a book, but Miles in Memory... that was a STOP IT NOW, YOU MORON! moment. But -- damned if Bujold didn't make it work. THAT is WRITING!