Oi! Cornwell! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[erastes]

(bonus points to anyone who spots which comedian made that phrase famous) 

I've just finished reading "Sharpe's Triumph" which should, frankly, be called "Sharpe's Absence" because Sharpe actually isn't in the book very much. 

India .  It's hot. There are a lot of flies. Sharpe's pretending to be dead.

FLASHBACK!  Garrison is wiped out – except for (miraculously!!) Sharpe. 

Sharpe gets taken off somewhere for no particular reason. 

BATTLE !!! (Sharpe not participating.)

Britain wins!  Hurrah!

Sharpe finds Woman. * 

Sharpe shags Woman * 

Sharpe admits to be in love * (with Woman, sadly) 

Obidiah Hawkeswill is up to No Good.* 

BIG BATTLE!!!!  (Sharpe nowhere to be seen except 10 page from the end.)

HEROISM!!!!!!! 

Britain wins!  Hurrah!

Sharpe's a Nofficer!  Obidiah Hawkeswill lives…. 

But seriously, my main gripe about this book is the shocking backfilling that Cornwell seems to be doing as a sop to the fan girls and boys.  " Dear Mr Cornwell," (write a billion fans) "why does Sharpe in the TV series have a Yorkshire accent when he's a guttersnipe from Wapping?" 

Oh dear , thinks Cornwell… Better do something about that.  So he's given him a reason to have a Yorkshire accent. 

Ok. He's his character.  But I still think it's silly. 

*de rigeur for all Sharpe books.  

Oh - and - that "my fine is" meme that's going around? My fine was £1,190.80. *pride* Now THAT'S living La Vida Loca.... *skips off to try and get the full set*