erastes | Entries tagged with editing

How to over-write a sentence.

Quinn grabbed Rafe’s arm and pulled him into the room, the feel of the bare forearm, exposed from the flowing shirt that was pushed up to his elbows, seemed hot beneath his hand.

And to make your creator go BWAH? as well.

Crossposts: http://erastes.livejournal.com/742925.html

37. Anything worth saying is worth saying twice.

"Come on," he said. "We'd better go down there," he said.

Crossposts: http://erastes.livejournal.com/735775.html

Prodigal sauntered in after 24 hours... No more publicity for him--he only does it to get his name on LJ, I'm sure.

If I was going to start reading Diana Wynne Jones, where should I start?

Yesterday I had a wonderful treat - a whole flock, consisting of about 10, of long tailed tits. I'd never seen them in real life before - although my mother said that she had once had a flock visit her garden. They always travel in numbers, apparently, and are never still, but they are the most beautiful of the tits (in my opinion) being white, and black and pink! ( (under the cut) )

Cute eh?

OK. Off to finish this werewolf story. Yes! Werewolves! Must have it done by tomorrow.

Editing amusement: He sat reading Michael's feet.

Ok - so this is obviously some 17th century prognostication that I haven't heard of before, is it? Foot Reading? Or perhaps Michael has taken the time to write out some Witchfinder's Instructions all over his feet, and for kinky reasons, Jon is reading them.

Amazing what the lack of one tiny word can do.

I have a very aggressive little robin in the front garden this morning. I bought a packet of "song bird mix" which is probably like caviare to birdies, and he's been guarding the bird table all morning! Every time the sparrows try and get some he charges at them. I knew that they were territorial with other robins, but I'd never seen them chase other types before. I'll have to put some up in a different spot so the sparrows have a chance - and hang some peanuts up. It's nasty weather now, so they need the help.

I've been trying to do more editing--I say "trying" because the furry monsters are driving me mad. everytime i sit down at the table one or other of them joins me, sits on the warm pile of paper and then flops onto their side and bats their eyelids at me. Severus was patently BORED this afternoon and kept biting my free hand as if to say, Don't keep doing that, tickle me!!!

I wish I had a camcorder so I could record it for you lot, like that chap did with the cat on his shoulders when he was trying to write.

Most amusing line found in the editing so far: He left the kitchen to see to the livestock. Now while this makes sense in a literal way, if you read it the other way it's hilarious. I doubt the kitchen will be any help with the livestock at all. When Jonathan comes back he's going to find the cows unmilked and the chicken unfed. Kitchens can't do animal husbandry! No thumbs!

Current Mood: cold

Happy Birthday to shoganrea and robertsloan2. Have good days! That's an order.

I found a shop that sells Reeces Pieces online in the UK. www.sweetieworld.co.uk! Hurrah! I have PACKETS of them!!! *Scoff*

Thanks to teddypig for this link. Cannon towels. I utterly refuse to believe that this was anything but very very deliberate. What amazing adverts - I think my favourite has to be the Roman bath one. I shouldn't be surprised that LIFE ran these though, they often had very homoerotic covers.

There are some new reviews on Standish and Frost Fair on Amazon. I particularly love the reader who loved it but cried all the way through Standish. I know that's mean of me, but I adore to cry at a good book and I'm thrilled that stuff I've written has been enough to reduce someone to tears.

Thanks to gehayi for this link. Pride & Prejudice on Facebook. Do not be drinking anything. My favourite line:

Lydia Bennet and Kitty Bennet joined the group 1,000,000 Strong Against the Officers Leaving Meryton!

Current Mood: stupid

Proof Editing is not an easy thing for me at the best of times. I don't have an editor's eye (and

auntie_marion if it was in digital form I'd send the entire thing down to you to sweep over) and can't ever work out where commas should go, or not go - as my patient betas will attest to.

However, it is made a lot more challenging when certain furry occupants of the house can't work out what Mother is doing with that red stick in her hand and OOO!! Isn't it fun to pat it? And OOOO!! This big pile of paper is so warm to sit on, and if I sit on JUST THIS BIT that she's looking at, she's bound to notice me. Failing that, they sit on my shoulder as I hunch, Cratchit like over the work (trying to prevent furry bottoms from squatting on it)

Cats. Can't eat 'em. Can't make furry mittens out of 'em.

I made a HUGE mistake on www.Travian.com I attacked someone with a small population and ran off giggling with my arms full of booty. What I didn't check was that it was his SECOND village - and his main village is fuck off HUGE. And he's coming after me. eep!!!! I'm going to be attacked in about an hour and there's not a lot I can do about it. I've shunted all my resources off to someone else, have contacted my Alliance, but there's no-one answering, and I'll send my troops out on some wild goose chase just before the attack happens. He has to travel six hours to get to me, so hopefully it will be a one-off raid, but it's taught me a lesson. CHECK that the little kid you pick on doesn't have a big brother!

Current Mood: stupid

ETA: Just heard back from the local paper - they want me to ring them and tell them about Lucius and his mysterious journeys!

Lucius the Wanderer is back. Again.

Three months almost the day, I think... *checks* 25th July it was when he came back last, and he stayed 2 weeks. He's in beautiful condition, if a little too light, and very hungry. He hasn't even got a flea dirt on him, so it's clear he's not living rough because someone is obviously treating him. God it's good to see him. I even had a feeling yesterday that he'd be back today -or perhaps it was because he knew I wanted him back today that he came back today. He won't stay, and the balance in the house is disturbed all over again, but still nice to see him.

I know how unlikely it sounds, even to myself. I've been fooled by so many stupid sock puppet stories. What I think I'll do is write to the local paper - it's a "local interest" story which they might like - and it would be good to know who else is fostering him. I will definitely get a collar this time - with one of those little barrels with my phone number and a tiny message in it - at least then someone can ring me and tell me he's safe. There's never going to be a way I can force him to stay- although I really wish he would. He's stuffed his face, and now he's in his basket. I can never face putting his basket away, just in case "today" is the day he comes home. I do wish he'd stay.

Severus is, of course, upset again. It's really not fair.

True Blood. Aww Billy-Bob the Vampire is such a gennleman caller! *squishes him*

Only a few sporks today.Tired, and I think I can see the end of it.

- they are sitting in a lighted room in a busy street in the dark. They kiss. They embrace. THEN they shut the curtains. er. No. 17th century remember?
- if he strips off down to his under-breeches, hose and shirt, he can't be wearing his ordinary breeches when he wakes up.
- What, pray, is a "half-wounded adversary"?

Current Mood: anxious, relieved, happy
Current Music: growling

So, I've seen episode one, at least! Pretty good! Interesting so far, and I'll carry on with it. However couldn't they pick ANOTHER name for the Vampire than Bill? Are all the vampires called William in vampire land? I liked the way she laughed at him and said "I was expecting it would be Antoine or something like that." Bill the Biter is nicely broody, but a bit too hairy for my taste. I do like Anna Paquin, and I like that she's not uber hot. And gay chefs with a bear fetish - love it! I love HBO. Has to be said.

God. Caffeine drinks. wow!

Why has this character got a French name? Is she French? No! *points to the 17th century* Imbécile!

Behooved? Great word! *snort* and it has two os. Word can spell better than you! Nyah!

Tell me, oh great writer - how does a person hiss when there are no sibilants in his words? Hmm?

See this? --> . That is a FULL STOP. See this? -->> , That is a COMMA. Say it after me. COM-MA. LEARN THE BLOODY DIFFERENCE!

Similarly despatch vs dispatch.

ETA: Oh - and I know it's not "done" to talk about writerly earnings, but I banked £400 this month in royalties and fees. Now - if I had four books out there doing as well as Standish - I'd be self-supporting! Whee! Of course if I wrote more instead of just gassing....wanders off...

Current Mood: Caffeinated

My right shoulder aches, on the front - like a broken collarbone. And that's impossible as I haven't done anything more strenuous than PC sitting for days. *lathers on the Ibuleve*

Frost Fair has had the green light - and any errors I missed will just have to stay in there - and it's off to the printers etc. Although I appreciate the fast turnaround that small publishers do, it means that there's no hope at all of getting one's manuscript off to the more professional review sites who want a book WEEKS or MONTHS in advance. It's not up on the site yet, (not even on the Coming Soon page(!!!!) but will let you know when, obviously.

Four days to Trick or Treat on my website!

OK. Back to editing...

It's things like this that make my research head all light and happy.
Newspaper on the day of Charles I's death 30th January 1648

Self-sporkage for today:

"He fropped to his knees." Who do you think you are? Lewis Carroll?

When a character is peeling an apple AND stroking someone's hair, this means they have three hands, you nitwit.

If you say a town is "bustling and lively" - do not, two paragraphs later, say that there are "few people about."

stop writing things like "he stood UP" and "he sat DOWN". Just stop.

*despairs of self*

Question: If I wrote: "He opened a press and took out his greatcoat" would you know what I meant? Or should I make it easier and just say wardrobe even though that's anachronistic?

Current Mood: glum

- If you describe someone as being slim, don't - when he takes his clothes off - suddenly start describing him as "stocky and barrel chested"
- Don't start a character using Aitches and then half way through the book start writing dialect. In fact, don't write dialect at all.
- Don't have "both boys talking" when one of them is a mute.
- Ten pages in two hours is NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

Arse? Meet Boot.

And this made me laugh - a lot

Ever wanted a map of the Ottoman Empire, 1566 to 1700 or Remnants of the Roman Empire, circa 500 CE or Europe, 1848? then bookmark this: http://www.fsmitha.com/maps.html

And this will make

sleveen laugh, at least!( Read more... )

After Elton have a poll for the best gay books ever, my five? The Charioteer, At Swim Two Boys, As Meat Loves Salt, Swordspoint, Wicked Gentlemen. Perhaps the latter two aren't in the EVAH category, but the best I've read for a while - and ones that stick in my head, which is the point. Belimah sticks with me just as hard as Laurie for example.

I've bitten the bullet and told my editor that she'll have the rewrite done of Transgressions done by Sunday. This means I need to do 50 pages a day starting today. I'm hugely impressed with her work, actually - after the bad time I had with the edit of Standish - she's not done an historical before but she's working bloody hard to get her knowledge up to snuff - reading about the time period and - get this - checking just about every word for etymological correctness. (!!!)

Words that she's queried under the cut.

( You can't say that! )

Now this is an interesting dilemma because how far does one draw that line in historical fiction? I've seen this argued over and over again on the Historical Novelists Society. One can't actually write the speech in the exact manner that the people of the time really used because it would be 1. pretty impossible, due to dialects and boring the reader so how far does one really go in using anachronistic words?

Granted the term Adam's Apple wasn't around when my Cavalier is kissing his lover's AA - so does one erase it? Is it ok to use it in narrative but not in speech? Such as "The sweat glistened on David's skin, and his Adam's Apple jumped as he nervously contemplated what Tobias had in mind." but not in direct thought/speech? Such as: "The hollow of his throat and that lump is adorable" Hmmm. One must have had SOME kind of word for these concepts even if the word wasn't used. Plus of course, etymology uses the first written record of these terms, so perhaps we can give some ideas the benefit of the doubt.

Stuff like Draconian, mesmerism and sadism though - she's bang on target and I am slapping my hands for even putting these words in, but I find it fascinating, because I'm a word geek, that these words and concept are so much a part of our speech that I can call my Witchfinder a sadist (which he SO is) without even questioning where the word came from even though I know where it did.

'Tis a puzzlement. However - I'm going to try and winnow out as many of these words as I can - I don't think stuff like "presumably" is necessary - but most of them can be replaced.

What do you think? How far would you go? What about further back? Step back from the 17th century and the language becomes even more obscure.. I'm planning to do an Elizabethan one at one point - and I'm certainly not going to be writing the entire thing in nonnys and nuncles.

In other news, the cover is done and I should have it soon. I'm crossing EVERYTHING for a good one.

Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: mozart's requiem

It's moving along, but gah! the mistakes one finds !!

I'm describing the Battle of Edgehill and I go and say that the right flank of the King'S cavalry attacked the right flank of the Parliament's. Idiot!

Only if

1. they galloped diagonally across the flood plain OR

2. They were both facing in the same direction.

*kicks self*

I also mention SHRAPNEL. Yeah. In 1642. Riiiiight...... That would have been hard to live down as my fellow historical novelists laughed in my face.

It's a worry!

*Can you believe they don't have the Nightrunner series at the Norfolk libraries? Unreal.

*Yanno, when we have our election I'm going to post extensively on every single second of it. See how you lot like portrayals of Gordon Brown opening supermarkets in Rotherham and David Cameron kissing babies in Aberystwyth. I may even post youtubes of Question Time. Serve you right. (yeah, right. Like I'm really going to care enough to do any of that...)

*I've just been over to Night Owl Romance to vote on a couple of books. I'm a little disappointed that GLBT only gets an erotic category. Bad Night Owl.

*Editing is DULL. To quote Craig Revell-Horwood. D.U.L.L. And my Frost Fair editor missed loads of stuff. Of course I did TOO, but then I know I suck. This is why I need editors!

*Is anyone else watching Strictly Come Dancing? I get so involved - and every year I say I'm not going to. The standard is amazing this year!

*Don't you wish you lived in the UK? Look at all the Gay tv and radio coverage we get! Why isn't Strictly on that list?

*I watched Pan's Labyrinth. *sob*

*

Don't worry - this obsession is wearing off as all my obsessions do. If they don't make it easier to get eggs soon (e.g. today) I'll be leaving my dragons to rot...

Current Mood: bored

It's ruddy chilly, pissing with rain and I find myself with Stuff To Do.

1. The edit of Transgressions
2. The final proof edit of Frost Fair
3. The short story promised to iulia_linnea for livelongnmarry
4. Go to the post office to take copies of all the paperwork for my ITIN and post off.

And it's cold and all I want to do is curl up under a blankie and watch The Sea Wife. (wonderful wonderful Burton). It doesn't help that a certain Mr Snape keeps going out into the garden, gets soaked and then launches his hideous wet self at me, dries off and nods off in my arms. I doubt either publisher would take that as a valid excuse.

Now The Sea Wife has bunnied me into writing 2 men on a desert island..

.
*restrains self*

Grow up, damn you!

Current Mood: cold

Happy Birthday

pfodge!

Campaign for Junction X:
(I thought if I posted updates, it would remind me work on selling it instead of doing nothing)

Three agent queries sent out.

I got the edit part one back for Transgressions today. In the post! I wasn't expecting a handwritten edit... I've asked the editor what she wants me to do, edit this hard copy or do the Word version in tracked changes.

I have a query about POV that I need help with though, please - because I just don't get POV much of the time...( please help the stupid person )

And we now have an Erastes Stud.