You want me to read your vampire novel? Well then, here’s how

[erastes]

1. write a blurb like this:

The Vampire Fred by Vaughn R. Demont

Being a vampire sucks, especially when you’ve got to deal with things like a dead-end job as an office drone, avoiding vigilante vampire slayers on the subway, and being price-gouged on blood from the slaughterhouse. Add in a crush on your annoyingly charismatic sire, and unraveling a little conspiracy to upset the balance of power among the vampires of the City, and it’s all in a night’s work though for fledgling vampire Fred Tompkins, as long as he doesn’t miss out on any overtime.

2. Publish with someone else but Torquere Press, because I DON’T HAVE A CREDIT CARD and they don’t take PayPal. WHY? Why Why Why Why Why Why Why Why ?  WHY!?

Really, for God’s sake – not everyone has a credit card. I don’t have one from choice. I had one about 20 years ago, and got myself into debt over it so cut it up, paid it off and vowed to never get another one. Never missed it (other than ordering stuff on Amazon USA) and never wanted one.

Grump. Now I shall have to wait and see if it comes up on Fictionwise, that’s if I don’t forget about in a week or two. Sorry, Mr/Ms Demont! Shame, because I really wanted to read this, and if you know me and vampire stories, you’ll know how rare that is.

Amusing conversation with Dad yesterday.  He’s a real treasure – at 81 and het through and through and after a 50 year long marriage - he finds homosexuality a bit baffling, but he listens intently to me burbling on about plots, and love intrigues and god knows what.  He asked me yesterday “where do you get your inspirations from?” and I was explaining how it was often a chance sentence heard in conversation, or a house, or something i hear on the radio, etc.  Then I went on to tell him about something I’d heard on the TV about a brewery empire which was founded by two men, best friends, who both went on to get married and have a family, but when they died, they left all their worldly goods to each other, rather than their families (which stuffed up the inheritance as you can imagine) and ALSO they were buried together side by side.

Dad said “Well maybe they were more than best friends.”

I nearly died laughing and said “YES!! Now you are thinking like I think! Welcome to the Slash Goggle society.”

Of course then I had to explain slash goggles which baffled him entirely.  I love him.

Comments

[rwday.livejournal.com]

That does sound like a decent vampire novel, much better than angsting and brooding all over the place. What format do you want it in? I think I can swing $5.95.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

ooo - PDF please! you are a treasure. *smooch *

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

I think I love him too.

I misread the heading of your post and thought this was how NOT to get you to read Vampires. Then I read the blurb and thought "This sounds good, what's the old girl thinking?"

[rwday.livejournal.com]

Thanks, sweetie! Let me know if the file doesn't open or there's some other problem. It's really stupid that they won't take Paypal, IMO.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Thank you!!!!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Thinking? What's that? :)

[clarelondon.livejournal.com]

Looks like it's all sorted out re the title, but you can always use me as a conduit in future. I can buy something, you can reimburse me by paypal, no problem.

[schmoo999.livejournal.com]

We don't have credit cards either. I don't like them and don't want them. BUT I do have a bank card the works where ever Visa is taken but the money comes from my checking account, if the money isn't there I can't use it, won't try.
It is how I buy ebooks for my Kindle and clothes (mostly tees and needed church things.lol) from some of my fave online stores every once in a while.

and your dad is awesome, awesome sauce even.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

My card is backed by Maestro, but it doesn't work on Amazon or Torquere - probably because it's a UK card.

and he really is. :D

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Clare - how kind of you!

[aunty_marion]

I'm dead lucky - I only have debit cards, have never had (or really wanted) a credit card. The Maestro one works a lot of places online, but the other one is a Visa Debit card (from the Halifax, but other banks do them), which is accepted as well as a Visa Credit card absolutely anywhere.

Your dad sounds wonderful. I've never bothered telling my mum exactly what sort of stuff I do online, as I know she wouldn't understand it at all. Haven't even explained LJ to her - I think she thinks my 'friends' and I just e-mail each other a lot!

[essayel.livejournal.com]

I can't resist making fun of vampires. They are due it! I bet their human lovers wait for dawn and for them to fall into marble like repose then get busy piling things on them and taking pictures. Oh so many possibilities for a little gentle fun - I haven't used half of them yet.

That sounds like a brilliant read, I'll bookmark it for future reference.

You have a treasure for a dad. I love it that he's prepared to listen, even if a bit baffled. My dear parent says things like 'don't you ever write about anyone normal?' or suggests plots that involve an elderly lady with a Jack Russell[not beyond the bounds of possibility but not as a love interest unless bio'ging Eric Gill].

[morgan-lowri.livejournal.com]

You can get a PayPal card that can be used at places that only take credit cards. It's nice because you can use it at ATMs to pull out actual cash too, and it's not a credit card, so once your PayPal account is out of money, it stops working.

*used to have an employer that payed via PayPal*

[kittymay.livejournal.com]

me too. We can make the We Love Erastes' Dad club : )

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

Your dad is made of awesome, and your dedication to staying out of debt is too. I have a store card with the one place in town that makes good, durable pants, and a debit card. That's it. The student loans are enough debt, dangit.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

He is, and the nice thing (although also sad and frustrating) is that his memory problems means he never gets bored or says "you told me that last week." :D

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I shall apply forthwith! Thank you!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I liked the touches in this, that he has a crush on his sire (which is almost mandatory) but finds him annoying!

My Dad often says "don't you ever want to write about something other than gay historicals?" and I have to explain why, there's just so many stories which haven't been told yet!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Heh - I am very lucky with both of them - mum would actually help me with plots and would proof read and come up with all kinds of ideas, and dad is a great sounding board, because I can talk my thoughts out at him, and he doens't get bored. He's never read anything of mine - because his memory isn't up to it, but he would if he could.

[lusiology.livejournal.com]

*cries* The blurb has reeled me in but I'm in the same boat as you, so no book for me unless one of my US friends gets it for me. I await your review after you've read the PDF to see if it's worth the hassle.

[gavinatlas.livejournal.com]

If I were to buy the title from Torquere, not read it myself, but forward it to you and then erase it from my computer, is that cheating? I guess that's the spirit of the law but not the letter of it. I am curious about this because I've had trouble with Fictionwise gift certificates. I try to buy a copy of something for someone else, and twice now it hasn't worked. I'd rather just buy the book and send it instead of this apparently faulty system.

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs you* Oh, dear! You know if you need someone to cry at, I'm out here, right?

[spindriftdancer.livejournal.com]

I understand what you're going through. My mom was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimers when she was 56. My big advice to you is make sure you take a video or something of him as he is right now. Even just a couple minute one using a digital camera. It's kind of morbid, but you'll appreciate it later.

*courage* And your dad is definitely awesome. (I don't even talk to mine about what I'm reading and writing, and he's *happier* that way ;p )

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Thats very kind of you.

xxx

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I don't agree that he does have Alzheimer's to be honest - unless the drugs are actually arresting it - he's been exactly the same for the last ten years, hasn't got any worse, and in fact - because he HAS to cope since Mum died, he's actually got slightly better. He has to find his own needles or aspirin or whatever and can't shout out "Babs, where do we keep the aspirin?"

The research I've done seems to indicate that people forget how to do up a tie, or how to drive, and - looking at Pratchett's experience, he just forgets things in the middle of doing it - and Dad just doesn't seem to have any of that. It's odd. And of course the NHS are spectacularly hopeless and useless.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

That's kind of you - but RW Day bought me a copy now, Thank you!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I'll let you know!

[spindriftdancer.livejournal.com]

There's different sorts of dementia. My mom has frontal lobe, which means that she had no trouble with short term memory (and she even drove her car for quite a while, but they took away her license eventually because of the psychotic episodes... wheee). Everything else disappeared. At least with the regular Alzheimers you get to keep your memories ):

But, if your dad is stable and happy, I guess it doesn't matter... And I'm certainly no expert.

Hooray for good drugs (: