Adventures in Editing 44.1

[erastes]

I feel so stupid sometimes. I don't understand words like "parse" and "syntax." I need to go back to school or something.

And continuing the disembodied theme.

Jude had priests' hands.

Obviously he kept them in a big box under his bed. With a separate box for eyeballs in case he ever needed any absinthe.

I realise that I'm not exactly gaining respect by pointing out my idiocies, but I hope to make you laugh, at least.

I have decided I'm not good with names. I really to start a character database when I start a book. What? You've heard me say that before?  LOL. I wouldn't mind so much, but everyone's name has changed once, and even the school's name changes.

In other stuffs, I loathe people who post passive aggressive shit on their blogs just because they've had their special snowflake stepped on. And why yes, this is a passive aggressive paragraph, but BOY OH BOY my fists are itching to drop the passivity.

Comments

[emlynley.livejournal.com]

I love that you share these with us. Makes me feel better about my own mistakes. It also points out the absolute necessity of self-editing and revising. Re-reading every single word, and then doing it again.

As for names: I have let choosing names slow down starting a story so now I'll just call them AAA, BBB or "Richdude," until I've decided for sure, then I'll go back and find/replace. A recent story ended up with characters eventually named Alec and Brant. I wasn't feeling particularly inspired after finishing a long story on a short deadline, so you can see how that happened.

Just curious: what is the connection between eyeballs and absinthe?

[suebrownstories.livejournal.com]

I cannot understand most of the meta that is posted. I need a dictionary glued to my side.

I keep forgetting my characters' original names. It was so much easier when it was fanfic. And eye colour.

Um, maybe it's the only place they can be a special snowflake? *ducks*

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Ah - you missed the last editing is FUN post.

http://erastes.livejournal.com/621075.html

I'm glad you don't think badly of me for my idiocy. Although you might when you read the eyeball one.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Jude had priests' hands.

Obviously he kept them in a big box under his bed. With a separate box for eyeballs in case he ever needed any absinthe.

Yesssss. Please yes!

And I'll bet he lights the censors, too...

[emlynley.livejournal.com]

and everything peaks his interest?

bare with me, there will be more....

[emlynley.livejournal.com]

Actually, I did read the last one but had forgotten the specifics. But I should start collecting eyeballs, since I'll undoubtedly need a drink soon.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

and he reigns in his interest, once peeked.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

EM, I had no idea... We'll see about the bare part in New Orleans.

[essayel.livejournal.com]

You make mistakes????? And I sympathise about all those clever terms. My school felt that since we could speak, read and write English we didn't need to know how it worked.

I tried the character database thing once for a really long story and it worked quite well. With 50+ characters plus masses of locations I don't think I'd have remember who everyone was without it.

[jenniferkoliver.livejournal.com]

They're not idiocies at all! And yes, they're amusing to share, and most of that is because we all make funny typos and errors all the time. Keep 'em coming, I say! :)

[emlynley.livejournal.com]

No telling what you'll see if you buy me a drink.... :P

[lee-rowan.livejournal.com]

That's not really a mistake. If you said somone had 'the hands of a pianist,' your meaning would be perfectly clear.

Reminds me of an old joke -- 40-year-old woman returns home from a physical checkup: "Well, dear, Dr. Jones says I have the body of a 25-year-old."

Obnoxious husband: "What did he saw about your 40-year-old ass?"

Wife: "We didn't talk about you."

[lee-rowan.livejournal.com]

that's "what did he say..."

[aishabintjamil.livejournal.com]

For things like parsing and syntax, a good course in Computational Linguistics will straighten you right out. :-) I guess they're probably used in regular linguistics too, but I've rarely seen them outside computer manuals.

I don't have a lot of issues with the main characters names, but the spear carrier types - the guy who gets sent off to make phone calls after the main character has a clever idea, random guards, the owner of a truck whose repair gets interrupted by plot, those are a problem. I don't need to remember their names because they never show up a second time, but I really do need to remember to vary them. I've been starting rewrites on a project that's been about 2 years in progress, and now that I'm reading the whole thing with a critical eye, I notice that I've used the first name Ben for this type of character at least 6 different times, all different people. Oops.

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

I can never remember my characters' names from one paragraph to the next either. That character database sounds like a good idea, except that I know I wouldn't remember what I'd put in it or to update it when I changed my mind.

I imagine that everyone has idiocies like that, I know I have :)

[mysid.livejournal.com]

Keep doing it! Ben's cameo could become your trademark.

[nagasvoice.livejournal.com]

Dark eyeballs, apparently.
I'm a doll person, so the idea of hands under the bed, along with the eyeballs, just seems like a thoughtful thing to do. It keeps the plastic urethane resin cooler, in a hot climate like ours here, so they don't age as badly, you know.
You should see what the doll folks in places like AZ and NM get up to!

[emlynley.livejournal.com]

this is starting to remind of the book "The Girl with the Botticelli Eyes." ewwww.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

LOL - yes, but i should have said "the hands of a priest" or "priest's hands" not implied that he had a load of priests' hands

love the joke!

[mylodon.livejournal.com]

I don't understand any of these terms either. You and me can sit at the back of the calss and do lines together.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

flicking inblots at the swots. I've always wanted to do that. at heart I am a victorian schoolboy

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I think we should have a confessional blog - post your idiocies here! it would make me feel better- have some more today, too.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

ilike that - like the artist who always put a mouse in his paintings!

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

I just got picked up on "his eyes were as starched as his linen," which I have to admit sounds very uncomfortable :)

[erastes.livejournal.com]

*guffaws!* Love it!

[crawling-angel.livejournal.com]

I don't even HAVE a special snowflake.

Eyeballs in a separate box...*pmsl*

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Here - have mine!

[crawling-angel.livejournal.com]

Aw, your Extra Special from Asda Snowflake? I couldn't possibly! lOL