(no subject)

[erastes]

It's a small world after all! I've just discovered that one of my fellow writers at P D Publishing lives about 10 miles from me! I hope we can get together at some point.

No writing at all this weekend, but I didn't feel guilty because I did so well last week.

I've been reading some snippets of het sex over the last few days and omg - is it me? or they really getting worse? I used to read het sex before I learned about gay erotica and it used to turn me on, but now? "dripping sex" and "reaching for her core" and "secret places" Let me say that my sex has never dripped, I've never had a secret place in my life and I don't keep apples in my knickers. All right?

do women really still have secret places? Blerghk. Each to his/her own, I guess, but I know that erotica shouldn't make me feel physically ill, but these days it really does. I mean I would say that one's anus is a little more secret than a lot of other places but I'd never dream of having Edward finger Alex's secret place.

*falls over laughing at the thought of it.* I'm tempted to do a gay sex scene in the style of "typical het sex" just to see how funny it would be.

Comments

DO!

[vashtan.livejournal.com]

Yes please. Do it. :)

Re: DO!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I would if I wasn't swamped, I swear.

[rwday.livejournal.com]

I have a secret place. It's in a closet, under the eaves and I keep the lockbox with our wills, savings bonds, etc. there. I'd really hate for a man to put his love wand into it, though, as the lid is heavy and if it fell, it would be messy.

I think men have traditionally been less squeamish about sexual organs than women, so in men's porn (gay or straight) you get more straightforward language, or if there are euphemisms, they're more likely to be somewhat crude as opposed to fruit and flower metaphors.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahahaha! Now we all know where your secret place, of course.

It's not *sporked* dripping, is it?

[sionnain.livejournal.com]

See, this is why I *write* het sex erotica. They can be damn hot as long as there aren't any dripping sexes. Dude, I've never used that phrase in my life. *winces*

Some of us are writing good erotica, I promise!

Though did I ever tell you the worst thing I ever saw? It was in a Draco/Ginny fic and it was, and I quote:

"He emptied himself into her like he was using the toilet."

That was the single most unsexy thing I've ever read.

I shall use my hot girlsex icon to make myself feel better after typing that.

[schmoo999.livejournal.com]

EEEEEEWWWWWWWwwwwwwwww.....

:P

lol

[erastes.livejournal.com]

that's ... disgusting! did he piss in her? shake himself off?

argh!!!!!!!

*runs screaming*

only on one condition:

[raphinou.livejournal.com]

if you do, you have to refer to alex's secret place as his starfish.

Re: only on one condition:

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I saw it referrred to once as a pulsing starfruit ....

*shudder*

Re: only on one condition:

[raphinou.livejournal.com]

it wasn't being breached by a bursting banana of bliss, was it?

[kethlenda.livejournal.com]

Yes. I have a secret place. ;) It's a box in my closet, where I keep all my teenage writings and stuff. God help anyone who tries to pry into it, though doubtless they'd be punished just by looking at all the dreck in there...

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Probably best if the hero doesn't stick his fingers in THERE then.

[kethlenda.livejournal.com]

Yes. Badfic bites. :)

[rosie-red73.livejournal.com]

See, you read 'core' and think apple. I think warp. And I'm thinking if he does actually touch her warp core, he's probably going to get pretty badly hurt.

[rwday.livejournal.com]

You know, you could do a whole sex scene with Star Trek metaphors.

Warp cores, matter/antimatter touching and the universe explodes, sleek warp nacelles. She transported him to ecstasy; he shuddered like the Enterprise at warp 9.9...

[villainslair.livejournal.com]

I am such a geek that what you said made both myself and my flatmate laugh hysterically. Thank heavens I wasn't drinking anything! (She wasn't either, but she almost hit her head on the sofa.)

[erastes.livejournal.com]

KirK; *shags*
Scotty: (watching) She canna take it captain - she's going to blow!!!!

[rosie-red73.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahahahaha! And the really sad thing is, someone probably already has...

[erastes.livejournal.com]

There are no words.

*giggling too hard*

[lovefromgirl.livejournal.com]

Het sex in published romance also gets the placement of the hymen horribly wrong. The way they tell it, men are meant to push and push past the ruddy cervix.

You are infinitely quotable, and "I don't keep apples in my knickers" only adds proof to that statement. :-)

[erastes.livejournal.com]

*giggles* I should icon that. I don't think I ever had one, and thank you so much I went to look at diagrams where it was supposed to be and now I feel sick.

[zoepaleologa.livejournal.com]

I'd read that liek whoa. I've read some het horrors. Fuckit, I am bloody het, but hanging with het ficcers turned me slashier than a lively Saturday night in Portsmouth.

As to secret places, I myself have a C**T* (and the only reason I am asterisking is in case any of your readers find such forthright terminology too crude.

*I always called it that in het fic I wrote, too. Coyness has no place in porn.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I'm not mad on that word either, but better than than "sex" or "folds"

I guess that, if a man is touching another man's cock, he might actually think that to himself, but I can't say I've ever thought during sex "oh he's parting my labia how nice."

It's funny how many hetters are squicked by het fiction.

[iulia_linnea.livejournal.com]

I just spit tea all over my new laptop's screen. I blame you: and I don't keep apples in my knickers. ;)

[ter369.livejournal.com]

Regarding het sex: try some of Emma Holly's novels, because many of her characters venture farther than their essential hetersexual focus. Try her Menage, back when she wrote for the Black Lace imprint. Also, Personal Assets is a rare achievement, an erotic novel with a strong plot about the characters' professions.

Recently she's writing paranormal romantica, for lack of a better sub-genre descriptor. The world-building was interesting in the novella that started the series. I think she manages to weave erotic throughlines with compelling plots, which is rare.

Unlike the current over-abundance of paranormal romance, Holly doesn't write euphemistic cliches as place-holders for the nouns and actions of sex.

I recommend these because Holly crafts characters whose gender roles are not .... shall we say, straight. There is role playing, role trading, and her women can be very alpha dynamic. I find her men very realistic, which says mroe about the kind of men I know than about labeling her characters.

Her website has excerpts, so you can sample and see.

[ejab62.livejournal.com]

Oh please, I always shy away from them. For the language used and incredibly awful metaphor's.
The same with these cheap romance booklets that have a pic of a male model (overly muscled, of course, and looking like that Fabio guy) who is staring down at this yearning woman who looks up to him in total despair.
Even at the age of 13, 14 it was too much.