Adventures with Alzheimer's and General Rambling

[erastes]

So it was bound to happen, really.  My mother used to say that one of these day Dad was going to take her out shopping and drive home without her, but thank goodness it never happened to her....

So I drive over to Dad's this morning to navigate him down into Norwich to a dental clinic (because you can't get a National Health dentist for love or money in his area and this clinic takes anyone at short notice) because he needs a filling.  I arrive on time, we pile into the car including Aslan (the Yorkshire Terrier) and off we go. Me map-reading, Dad driving.  We arrive in time, I fill in his allergy and details form and I settle down to read Giovanni's Room while he goes off to have his filling done. 

Half an hour later I'm getting a little concerned. I'd been so deep in GR that I'd lost track of time, but I wonder why a filling is taking so long. I wait a little longer and then with a sinking heart take a trip out to the carpark... Yep.  The car is gone.  The silly bugger has not only driven off and forgot that I was sitting in the waiting room, but he hasn't paid for his bloody teeth either.  Thank gawd I was a little foresighted and had my mobile and my cheque book with me.  No point ringing him as it would take him about 45 mins to get home, so I ring a taxi.  Poor Dad - when I finally get hold of him - he was frantic as to where I was. He got home and found my car on his driveway but had no idea of where I'd disappeared to.  *sigh*  His cheap filling turned into an expensive one as the taxi was £30....

However, it's a good warning. NEXT time when we go somewhere where this is a possibility I'm confiscating his carkeys.

It all ended well, though - as the taxi-driver happened to be a poet and we had a good long chat about writing and local night classes and how she might go about getting published!  So all things happen for a reason. Oh and I got fish and chips for lunch.  Good Times.

 I really don't get why 1.3 million Twilight books sold on the first day. I haven't read them - in fact until this week I'd hardly even heard of them, I had a vague notion that Bella and Edward were written by LKH for some reason - but I've read some reviews and I've read some snippets, and ... um... well, I don't think I'll be reading them any time soon. But - what I don't get is why people are buying them.

I suppose it's because if a series was deteriorating at the pace that the Twilight series was deteriorating, I wouldn't have bothered to continue with it. I admit I bought Deathly Hallows in spite of the fact that the Potter saga was sliding into a non-edited diva produced mess, but it wasn't "my eyes my eyes give me my money back awful." If I didn't like the ending, then so what? It wasn't my book.

But returning books because one doesn't like the writing?  This is a new one on me - it's a concept I am having trouble getting my head around.  What reason can you have for returning books?  The only statutory reason for returning goods (that aren't faulty) in this country is that they aren't "fit for purpose" - and that's got to be a very difficult thing to prove when it comes to writing.  Not fit for pigswill doesn't exactly cut in, legally I'm afraid.  I'm not saying I blame anyone for returning the books in disgust, but sheesh, serves 'em right for buying them, surely. Are people getting to the point where they only buy the books so they can jump on the bandwagon and leave a negative review on Amazon? I suppose one good things of this, that poor Bookcrossing isn't swamped with ½ a million copies of the book...Although that would be quite funny, finding them everywhere, in supermarkets, at bus shelters, on trains - AND NO-ONE PICKING THEM UP!!!

And regarding all the Austen Diary spin-offs.  Aren't we at saturation point, already?  Who's next?  Mr Collin's Diary?  Lady Catherine De Bourgh's Diary? Lizzie's Diary's Diary? Some bloke who was wandering along Lyme Bay when that bird jumped and hurt herself's diary?

For those of you who haven't got erotic_authors friended, and who like Sherlock Holmes, don't miss Lethe Press's submission call for Gay Holmesian Fiction

Comments

[angrboda]

I've read the first two and will probably read the last two as well eventually (oh hedgehogs on tv! Cuuuuuute!) if for nothing else than to finish the series of. I was kind of caught by the first one while knowing consciously that I really shouldn't be. The second one I was very unimpressed with but I'd already heard that it was going to be tougher to get through (oh boy, was it ever!) but that the third one was supposedly worth it. We'll see when/if I get around to it. I just know that I'll be going at the rest of the series with an entirely different attitude. I'm not going to expect to like it for any other reason than recognising how incredibly hilarious it involuntarily is. I hear that last one is total crack-ficcish in nature.

But people actually trying to return them? LMAO! They're so bad they're making people lose IQ points!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I heard that some were caught by the first one, but I advise you read Cleolinda and the sparkly baby jesus before you go any further down the trail to hell...

[angrboda]

I saw a small excerpt of that on metaquotes. That's when I realised that it's very involuntarily hilarious. Haven't exactly been careful of spoilers. :) I've got a suspicion that I'll either never finish (but then at least I've tried) or I will finish and giggle my head off in the process.

[angrboda]

Oh, and by the way, since I've read some of the other comments on returning a book because it wasn't to the reader's taste.

In Denmark you can't return a used item ever. If it's been read, even just partially read, it's used. Can't be returned. Admittedly, with a hardback they probably can't always tell, but if they can they won't take it. And I hear shop people get scarily good at spotting tell-tale signs of usage.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

That's what I thought it must be here, too. seems it is, in Brick and Mortar shops at least.

Book return policy

[dkollin.livejournal.com]

Great question, actually. As one of the few people who walked out on the last Star Wars movie (after 13 minutes) and demanded my money back (for having been abused once too many times by Mr. Lucas) I can relate to returning a book (even if I've never had the temerity to do so). But the logic stands to reason: if I buy a book either from an author I admire or as a result of a duplicitous review then presumably (after say 50 pages in...of a 400 pager) I can say this book sucks. I'd like my money back, thank you.

Re: Book return policy

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I wish I'd done that at the last SW film. Hayden really spoiled Darth Vader for me...

[adventurat.livejournal.com]

I bought Twilight thinking that it was the first in LKH's series (whose "Blue Moon" had been specifically recc'd). I spent the first half of the book wondering when the hell this teenage Mary Sue was going to become the amazing Vampire Hunter I'd heard so much about, and then slowly realizing that it probably wasn't going to happen. I finished reading it, for reasons that are no longer clear to me (except that I rarely don't finish a book once I start it), and decided that the stupidity and dreadfulness (as well as my advanced age) absolved me from the need to read further installments.

"This is not the book I wanted" might be a valid reason for taking the book back! I never thought of that at the time. And now it's too late of course. It's in the "donate to charity" box now, so that I don't have to live with the reminder of my folly.

I am so grateful that my folks are still healthy and coherent. Your adventure with your dad reminds me not to take that for granted. *sympathy*

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Oh dear lord. Can you imagine going into a charity shop and the ONLY BOOK AVAILABLE WAS the Twilight Book???

*scared*

[erastes.livejournal.com]

and i'm glad it's not just me who had it mixed with LKH.

[adventurat.livejournal.com]

I know, right? Aaaaagh! The only book in the world to make me prefer Deathly Hallows!!!

[anderyn.livejournal.com]

Okay, she says, feeling a bit defensive here, I return books "all the time". Well, I do at least one or two every six months. I buy at least two or three (sometimes four or five) a week, and *some* of the time, I make a mistake and buy something that is so truly awful I do not WANT it in my house, and I'd really like the hour or so it took me to read it back. So I return it. (Since I am anal about all books being unmarred by my reading them, I do not think that the bookstore does anything more than put the copy back upon the shelf.) However, the latest return was due to a book having been reissued with a cover that misled me into believing it was a new one when it was one I had bought four years ago. I don't feel that I am unreasonable, considering that I spend a lot of money on books.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I'd just never considered it. I had never even thought it was possible. Perhaps it's part of my English "don't complain" gene or something - or - as I said - the knowledge that you can't return anything (or legally, you can't anyway) unless it's an unwanted present and you have the receipt, or it's unfit for purpose (like a weed whacker that doesn't whack weeks) or a sou-wester that leaks.

Just "ick" the writing is dreadful doesn't seem a good enough reason - but I'm glad that it works!

[anderyn.livejournal.com]

Well, I always have the receipt, and I make sure it's in pristine condition, and our local Borders never give me any grief about it. (It doesn't hurt that they know me by first name and preferences in candy/chocolate/books/music, either.)

[ctrl-issue.livejournal.com]

I've returned books before as well, and all it really takes is a receipt, no problems with the book, and it returned in a timely fashion.

Then again, I've also returned books that I've gotten off of Amazon to book stores. As I'm without a receipt, I just tell them it was a gift, and then I get store credit. *shrugs*

And why do I return books? Because I don't like the books, because they bore me, because they aren't as useful as I had hoped... any number of reasons, but it all boils down to the fact that I don't want things that I won't read in my house taking up my space. ~_^

[zamaxfield.livejournal.com]

My daughter, who was in Jr. High when these books came out, really liked Twilight. A lot of people do. Since I often peek at what she's reading I read that book as well. I didn't think it was as awful as all that, although I made exception for the fact that it was a first novel and felt she actually improved in skill and pacing throughout that book, which was fricking epically long. I never could get into the second. My daughter read the new one yesterday and from the look on her now 15-year-old-face, I think she may be over it.

Was she kidding? It's an MPREG story?

[lareinenoire.livejournal.com]

I bought Twilight, as I was actually giving a presentation on how it related to the current spate of teen vampire fiction via the far superior Buffy, and I have to admit I flew through it in about three and a half hours, all the while remarking to myself that the writing was not very good at all. I've come to regard them as the literary equivalent of junkfood. Not remotely good, but for some reason, I'm unable to stop. That being said, I haven't bought any of the others, though I have the third and fourth on reserve at the library and will probably fly through them too.

I just can't buy sparkly vampires.

As for returning books...I think the only time I return books (as opposed to reselling or donating to charity shops) is when I accidentally end up with two copies of the same thing, which sadly occurs more often than I like to admit. Plus, most of the time I buy books from charity shops, so returning is generally frowned upon.

[suryaofvulcan.livejournal.com]

Point of law - under the Distance Selling Regulations, you can return anything you buy by 'distance means', eg online, by phone or by mail order, provided you do it within 7 days. It doesn't have to be faulty, or 'not fit for purpose'. So if they'd bought the book on Amazon, they'd be able to return it, but if they'd wandered into their local bookshop, they wouldn't (unless the shop allowed it under their returns policy).

And wouldn't that be a great returns policy for a bookshop? I can see it now: 'If you buy a book and discover it's shite, bring it back and we'll swap it for a better one!'

I'm kind of worried about your Dad - if he's that absent-minded, should he be driving?

[erastes.livejournal.com]

That would be a great selling slogan! *guffaws* Thanks for the info - that's very useful!

No - Alzheimer's (or at least with him, and I'm not actually convinced he has it, as the test they use is laughable) doesn't work in that way - automatic things like driving, riding a bike, routine matters continue. But if I asked him where we went this morning, he'd not know. He has to report his Alzheimer's to the DVLA, and that's all. What amazes me that he had no problems at all in finding his way back from a place he'd never been before, like some kind of homing pigeon. Even if the squab was sitting there wondering where the car had buggered off to.

[lee-rowan.livejournal.com]

The combination of your disappearing dad and sparkling vampires is pretty astonishing.

Re: DD, it's only funny because you got home and he was okay. And thank heavens for that.

As far as returning books goes -- I'm at the point where I take a lot of books out of the library first. Editing has gone to hell with a lot of big publishers; the policy now seems to be that if an author is guaranteed to sell, why waste invest any money in an editor? Feh.

Re sparkly vampires ... I've wondered where all the romanticizing of these bipedal mosquitoes would finally wind up, and I'm sorry I know. It may be that people are buying them because they know little Brittny liked the first one and anything to encourage a teenager to read... But oh god, it does sound like the marysues have infested the publishing world. YA is the right genre, though, and if it makes a few girls give a second thought to latching onto a 'bad boy,' it might serve a purpose. (If it's so bad that readers realize there is a difference between goodfic and badfic, that's really great.

sparkly vamps. dear ghod.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I just wanted to lump it all together into one post. And yes, he was fine - thank goodness, he's a lot more confident than he thinks he is, it's just when he has to THINK about it, he panics.

I agree with you, I get a LOT of books from the library now - a lot to do with unemployment, but it's a good run-through - if I like the book, then I'll buy it. None, recently...

Yes -and in the sunlight, no less!

[aigooism.livejournal.com]

I have Twilight as a PDF file . . . but it looks like I won't be reading that for a while. It just seems to . . . teenagey-angsty-annoying to me. I mean, after I wiki-ed the series, I just automatically started slashing everyone, but still, I don't know if it warrants me actually read it. XD

And eep! I'm glad you're dad's okay. X_X;; Disappearing anyone is uncool.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Probably best if you don't. That sort of crap can be contagious.

And thank you! He's a sweetie, he really is, and he was very worried when he realised what he'd done, but then ten mins later he'd forgotten about it!

[thescarletwoman.livejournal.com]

I read them -- and... yeah. Published fanfic comes immediately to mind. I've really been reading for the crack and mocking value but I at least went into them knowing they were of meh quality (in my opinion anyway).

However, I really don't get the whole thing of taking back a book. I have many books that I've read once and may or may not read again, but they still stay in my library. Just because you disliked a book, that means you take it back? I don't get it. If you hated a DVD you bought, you can't return that. So why is there the double standard?

[erastes.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

Exactly! "Storekeeper? I am moste disappointed with this James Blount aboute whych manie people are praizing. It seems moste soppie and I wish my groats back forthwith."

[mzcalypso.livejournal.com]

That's what used bookstores are for. Or Ebay, or Amazon. Though a new cover on an old book is a good enough reason, I think. So many people shop in a hurry--and you could take the old book with you as proof. I did that once or twice, and now if a title sounds familiar I check the publication dates.

[mzcalypso.livejournal.com]

Some bloke who was wandering along Lyme Bay when that bird jumped and hurt herself's diary?

Monday the 4th: Not King Yet.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

spot the characters

Tuesday:

Still creepy and unworthy of patronage

Still darkly handsome and very rude

Still a bike for everyone in Meryton

[tharain.livejournal.com]

Still dressed like a girl at the party, thank you very much, Lydia.

[aphephobia.livejournal.com]

I once returned a parenting book about children with autism.

Why?

Because it was factually incorrect in a number of areas, not to mention the author hadn't provided any references. If it was biographical, fair enough, but it wasn't-- it was made out to be somewhat academic and about parenting kids with autism. All it really was was a bunch of curebie bullshit and negative stereotypes, with absolutely no references backing anything up.

So I returned it, because it didn't serve my purpose.

Fiction, though... no. You don't know what you're getting with fiction, and unless there's a grave mistake (say your copy of Twilight instead had the pages of Atlas Shrugged inside it because of a printing error) it's just too bad if you don't like it. Isn't everyone already aware that Meyer isn't The Most Amazing Writer Ever? You buy those books because you want ridiculously high levels of cheesiness, predictable plots and sparkly vampires and Mary Sues. If you want literature, you'd be reading something else.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Yes, both of your examples make sense because they are not fit for what you needed. Similarly I'd take a book on horsemanship back if it said to be a certain level and wasn't.

[angelabenedetti.livejournal.com]

My understanding is that the most rabid Meyer fans were at the midnight parties the bookstores threw, or any of the other marketing-hype events. (Someone mentioned a concert (?!?) in one of the message threads I read. So we're talking about major Twilight fans who got the book at 12:01am on release day, after much hyping and pumping and rah-rah from the publisher.

They read it that night or the next morning and realized that it sucked swamp water, significantly moreso than the earlier books, which they'd enjoyed in whatever way.

This isn't a case of "Didn't like the ending," or "Well, I decided after four books that sparkly vampires are kinda stupid after all," or "Bella ended up with the wrong guy so I'm mad," or whatever. This is a case of people who are huge fans of Ms. Meyer and who'd been led to believe this was going to be the wonderful culmination of her series, reading the book and discovering that it's ridiculously amateurish and clearly unedited. Some people said it read like bad fanfic, others that it read like she just rushed through it to meet a deadline. But whatever the specific reason, this wasn't just casual dislike or a sense of entitlement about having a plot go the way the reader wants it to.

A lot of people were upset with Deathly Hallows, but nothing like this. DH was as well written as any other book in the series, whether or not one cares for the events contained within, or thinks there was too much of it or whatever. In the case of Breaking Dawn, the people who got it that night and started trashing it the next day were devoted Meyer fans, who thought she was a great writer and were expecting great things from this last book. They were grossly disappointed, and felt that they'd been sold a shoddy product.

I've never tried to return a book, but a number of people on various threads have said that this or that chain of bookstores will either refund your money or give you store credit with no questions asked, so my guess is that people do it but not very often. Except in this case.

I cautiously approve. It'd be a shame if any significant number of people got into the habit of returning any book they didn't care for, because then the stores would likely just stop taking them. But in this case, when the whole series was so popular and so hyped, and the publisher cranked up the marketing machine (concerts, for chrissakes??) and printed over a million books, but didn't bother to make sure the product they were selling was even of a minimally professional standard, I have no problem with the publisher getting a smack to make them take notice. The bookstores won't suffer -- they'll just report whatever they don't sell (or what doesn't stay sold) as unsold stock and get full credit, like they do for every other book. Ms. Meyer has her advance, however much that was, so even if she doesn't make any more royalties she's probably got a nice wad of cash. But if the publisher learns to pay more attention to what they're putting out and exercise some editorial discretion, that can only be good for all of us. Hitting them in their wallet is the best way of getting the lesson through to them. It'll be interesting to see whether they pay attention.

Angie

[iulia_linnea.livejournal.com]

I'm glad that the outing the dentist ended well. How alarming! With Grandma, my concern was always that she'd mistake people's attentions to her and take her cane to them, so I had to watch her like a hawk when we were out (this, after she did take her cane to someone for looking at her the wrong way).

The Twilight books sound horrible; I don't think they're worth even a library try-out.