(no subject)

[erastes]

This is the sweetest apology for a site going down that I've ever read. Translated from Chinese by Babelfish

"we were sorry that the website core engine room is carrying on the electric power maintenance, estimates in 5 hours to restore. · inconvenient superior cool deeply feeling apology which brings to you, thanks you to the superior cool support! · asks the patience to wait for after period of time, comes superiorly again cool!"

Hey - they could at least give me a water buffalo string to hold while I'm waiting superiorly.

And THIS has to be the MOST baffling and daft submission call ever?

Comments

[fiona-glass.livejournal.com]

Cern Zoo? WTF? This bit had me in stitches: "The Nemonymous editor requires a story judged suitable by its author for inclusion...". If I was unscrupulous enough I could decide that any story I've ever written is 'suitable for inclusion' - gay porn, ghost story, you name it.

I'm not too keen on the 'no byline' thing, either.

Are these people for real? O.o

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Bizarre - certainly the weirdest one I've ever seen. I've a good mind to send them some gay porn.

[mzcalypso.livejournal.com]

The good thing about E-publishing: accessible to almost anyone

The bad thing about E-publishing: accessible to almost anyone


Cern ZOO?

The Chinese notice is lovely. You could break it into shorter lines and call it blank verse.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

There was some discussion somewhere on that site as to why it was called that but it was all so posey and surreal that I couldn't be arsed to find out!

Isn't it lovely? "website core engine room" hee!

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

'Cern Zoo' (alternatively 'Cerne Zoo') simply means what it means to you.

I'll go with "Completely Meaningless" for $2000, Alex!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Or "bollocks", really!

:)

[queeredfiction.livejournal.com]

I was expecting to stumble across caged particles and be startled by splitting atoms ... an orgy of chemical reactions ... but then perhaps I'm going about this acronymically ... so the image had me drawing a blank. I think I spotted the panthers ... heavily camouflaged.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I think the image changes too.Blerghk.

[queeredfiction.livejournal.com]

Does it? I only see the badly photoshopped image with the watermark that looks like a line up of tanks, but then it may just be my imagination.

[feed-your-muse.livejournal.com]

That was my first reaction, too. That it was something to do with mini-black holes held in captivity. Then, with the second spelling, I immediately thought of the Cerne Giant - especially as he's had his tackle re-chalked this year.

Bizarreness.

[zamaxfield.livejournal.com]

The only thing I thought when I read that is the Dr. Seuss book "Take Me To The Zoo." And this part made me laugh out loud,

You may submit the story anonymously. If so, you will be asked to reveal your identity and/or by-line

Even after I read further...

[erastes.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

Perhaps I should send them a Seuss style porn poem.

[oddnari.livejournal.com]

Well, they do live in interesting times :D

[erastes.livejournal.com]

And the winner of the biscuit is Oddnari!

I was going to say "a biscuit to anyone that spots the reference." But thought that people would think I was mad.

OK. Madder.

:)

[kafkonia.livejournal.com]

Just for the record, Nemonymous (of which Cern Zoo will be volume 9) is actually a very well-respected anthology series -- several of the stories it has featured over the years have made it into the Year's Best Fantasy & Horror anthology series from St. Martin's (my own story, "Creek Man", got an Honourable Mention after appearing in volume 4) and/or been nominated for various major awards, such as the Stoker and the British Fantasy Society award. The series itself has been nominated for such awards as well, and routinely gets positive reviews from venues as diverse as Interzone and Time Out.

As for the concern about the lack of byline, it is not a permanent situation -- the proper story/author combinations are revealed at a later date, and I believe are also included in the next volume of the series. This is supposed to free the stories up from any baggage the reader might bring to it based on the author, and I have to admit it's worked surprisingly well in the stories I've read.

The books/magazines (and they are very much physical, not ezines as implied elsewhere) are quite well made, and while Des is certainly a bit eccentric in his on-line persona, he does a bang-up job as editor/publisher. And, if you're curious, it's rather well-paying, as well.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Perhaps. My point was that it's completely incomprehensible to anyone I've pointed to it.

[marquesate.livejournal.com]

So it is, I certainly didn't have a clue what on earth this call was on about and thus wouldn't ever bother submitting. Someone wants to be quirky, cool and different? Do that in private, not in business. *shrugs*

[lee-rowan.livejournal.com]

The gentleman may be the best editor in the world, but you can't tell it from his on-line persona. And there are so many half-baked editorial wannabees in the market that his professionalism wasn't apparent. A google of "Cern Zoo" brings up articles about particle physics. There's 'eccentric' .. and then there's making things so obscure that only the inner circle knows what the devil one is talking about. That may be the point.

[weirdmonger.livejournal.com]

What can't people understand in the guidelines?
http://weirdmonger.blog-city.com/cerne_zoo__guidelines.htm