On Twilight.

[erastes]

1. Phoenix is yellow - Oregon is green for some reason.
2. Dad is McClure
3.  Script... what script?
4. Are the people befriending Bella supposed to be Geeks, because they look like the Cool Kids.  And yes, I'm sure all first days at High School are like that.
5.  how disappoinitng Edward isn't sparkling
6.  how handy! a wind machine!
7. BROODING 101
8. There's been a lot said about Edward being the Stalker, but the way Bella behaves after one lesson, strikes me as just as bad. Obsessed much.
9. Random scene in a factory
10. bella tells us she is coincindated because se obviously can't work out that for ourselves
11. Dad now looks like Matlock
12. Question: if you are immortal, why do stay in high school?
13. ARGH. SCRIPT.  "i don't like the rain. Any cold wet thing..." Why does that immediately summon up a vampirehood?
14. His eyes are Gordon Brown! texture like sun!
15. I love that in the car accident everyone rallies around Bella and ignores the injured driver
16. Dad's moustache seems to be loose
17. Dad Cullen is Alan Tracey!
18. Everyone wants to go to the Prom with her!  I feel very sorry for the actress, she's incapable of convincing us she's an awkward image-issues girl, when all she has in her arsenal is stammering.
19. Greenhouse scene. Harry Potter, much? POINTLESS much?
20. Oh she fell over! that must mean she's clumsy!
21. Who cast this?
22. Everyone is still green. Stop being green, it makes me feel sick. Even Bellas house is green.
23. How does he manage in daylight? is it because the sky is green?
24. "If you were smart, you'd stay away from me."  WHAT? he's the stalker!
25. Random shot of tree
26. Shopping + "script" = blech
27. CREEPY BOOKSTORE!
28. No seatbelts for a handbrake turn like that? they'd have both been out of the window. /inertia geek.
29. Has Edward never had a conversation with anyone before?
30. OK - he's telling her he can read minds and she turns the conversation to HER. I know pepole like that.  I find it amusing that he commented on it at the same time I did.
31. Dear main characters. There are more tones than mono, you know.
32. Dad's office is dark. And green...
33. Why has Dad given her a torch? or is it a vibrator?
34. Why do the corpse's feet make her think of Edward? That's revolting.
35. Why does she need to Google to find out what a vampire is? Don't they have Buffy in Arizona?
36. MOODY MUSIC! GREEN SPORTSFIELD! ARTY SHOT OF FOGGY WOODS.
37. "you speak as though you are from a different time"
38. I've been 17 a while. This is why he's mad, he's been in high school for a hundred years.  Years of cheerleaders and American cliques will drive anyone insane.
39. Diamond encrusted skin!  BWAHAHAHAHA!
40. Why does Pattinson like being up trees so much?
41. You know this is only a metaphor for MEN. They only like the women they don't understand.
42. ... the script... my ears are bleeding.
43. Is it just me that finds it mildly worrying that Head Vampire recruits pretty 17 year old boys?
44. OK - so after the most appalling declaration of love and OMG you are a vampire scene, we THEN have to have "I was sure of 3 things" - just in case we hadn't already twigged that 1. Edward is a vampire 2. He wants to eat you and 3 you are in love.  BECAUSE WE ARE THICK. Oh yes, we are. We are watching this tripe, after all.
45. i haven't mentioned the music yet. It's foul
46. omg - his family lives in a glass box and they ARE the bloodsucking Brady Bunch
47. TREE CLIMBING FOR VAMPIRES. So what are we saying? Vampires are the missing link?
48. oh please. Edward and Bella sitting in a tree? ARGH.
49. Moms in Jacksonville - which is also green
50. My god, a bit I enjoyed - the baseball was cool.
51. How did James know about the ballet school?
52. Why on earth would anyone leave a camcorder in their house?
53. Why is Phoenix green too, now?
54. It 's not really a good sign if I laugh when the heroine falls on broken glass...
55. Oh GIGGLES - you can just suck out Vampire venom!  Like a rattlesnake! 
56. I actually quite like Carlisle. Thank GOD I liked someone.
57. QUESTION: How come Edward's bite didn't contain venom too? Eh? Eh?
58. Random Blues Singer rambling
59. Also not a good sign that I hope she dies, is it?
60. After her hysterical outburst DON'T LEAVE ME in the hospital, I'd run and hide from her, Eddie, if I were you. She's a psycho.
61. Did you see Dad's face when Edward said she looked perfect?  OH CHEEESE, he's thinking...LOL
62. PROM. oh dear lord, I really feel Edward - not only has he got nutso girl to put up with but an eternity of Prom.

See, I don't get at any time WHY Edward loves Bella apart from the fact that he can't read her mind and that drives him mad.  I CAN see the broody goth obsession of a 16-17 year old girl but not the other way around.

Dreadful film. Not as bad as Eregon though. I can actually see what they were going with, emo-art-house- but it really didn't work. blech.