Oh HOW disappointed was I by Clash of the Titans remake?

[erastes]

Very. And here’s why.

When you remake something, really—it should be better, yes? And with today’s technology, you really think it would be more impressive, more heartstopping, more gaspy etc etc but it just wasn’t… I mean, the LotRs live action film blew me away after the animation.

You see, I was raised—as many of us 40 plusses were—with Ray Harryhaussen being a GOD, and making films that simply weren’t possible to make until he really make stop motion animation his own. And after seeing the new CoTT, i realised that I was far more scared by Harryhausen’s Monsters than I was with the CGI ones. Plus what is the attraction of this shaved Australian? He’s not handsome, he’s not buff, he can’t act—I don’t see what the draw is.  I loved the companions he had with him, they were far sexier than him—the one who looked a bit like Assante but wasn’t – and the very very pretty young men with the long hair. 

The Gods were good, but sorry—I’m rather sick of Liam Neeson as Father of a particular faith. We’ve had him as Aslan, Schindler, Priest Vallon in Gangs of New York, Ducard in Batman, Godfrey in Kingdom of Heaven, Qui Gon Jinn – I’m just BORED with him being GRAVITAS personified. Sorry. And Fiennes was just Voldemort again.

And what was UP with Andromeda’s eyebrows?  They looked like someone had nibbled holes in them.

Things I DID like (but sadly, only because they were homages to the original film)

--Bubo. “What’s this?” “Leave it…”

--The CoTT theme tune slipping in, slightly obscured once or twice

--Pegasus

But otherwise. Meh.

- - - -

Comments

[moon-chylde.livejournal.com]

Sam Worthington is nothing but the product of marketing. But it's clear in this instance that we aren't buying what they're slogging at us.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Really really not.

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

I didn't much like the first one, so when my daughter came back from watching this one and said how much she was bored (she's 13, but too switched on to be entertained by mere spectacle) I thought I would pass on it.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Good call. Even the spectacle was "seen it"

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Ain't Harry Hamlin that's for sure. And c'mon, Lawrence Olivier as Zeus is impossible to beat.

My major WTF of the movie was that race of creatures made of wood.rs WTF!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

your link didn't work. Yes, they weren't exactly my idea of Jinn, or djinn - that's for sure.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

No, no link. I just can't type at 6 am. Srs WTF is what I meant to say. Somehow my S disappeared :P

[reddwarfer.livejournal.com]

So, I love the original. And I loved this one. The trick is, don't think of it as a remake but a completely different movie.

Still, the original is in my heart. Harry Hamlin with his Farrah Fawcett hair and Maggie Smith being snarky and awesome.

Though, in my review I think I mentioned that Qui-gon and Voldemort duked it out.

[ruth-sims.livejournal.com]

I was about to ask if the original that was remade was the one with Harry Hamlin in the micro-mini skirt and then I saw mentioned of HH. So I reckon it is. I saw it when it first showed up on tv and thought it was such a howler. I laughed all the way through it, though I admit HH had great legs! One kept wondering when a strong gust of wind would come along. But I don't think HH could act then and when I finally saw Making Love, my opinion didn't change. When I saw the new one advertised I thought I might rent it when the DVD comes out, but now I think not. It sounds kind of blech.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Oh they ALL wear micro skirts in this one...

[ruth-sims.livejournal.com]

You know, it occurs to me regarding those ancient gentlemen, that riding a horse when you have bare-naked thighs must be damnably uncomfortable. Scratchy, if there's no saddle. Sticky if there is.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

And speaking from personal experience of riding horses both saddled and unsaddled when wearing shorts, the leather can REALLY chafe.

[ruth-sims.livejournal.com]

ow! ow! Maybe that explains why Alexander's cavalry and the Roman cavalry, etc. were so fierce! Just think. If Alexander had had riding breeches, he might have been content to stay home and behave himself.

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

I mentioned that Qui-gon and Voldemort duked it out.

I'd queue around the block for a film based on that premise!

[lee-rowan.livejournal.com]

The problem is mostly that SFX have replaced acting and scriptwriting in 90% of what's out there. I saw a bit of an article on the actor who's in this one, and he said he wanted to be "different" and - the time-honored refrain of the proud ignoramus doing historical -- "it's fiction, innit? Who cares if it's accurate."

That alone decided me on not spending $ on this turkey, though I expect my wife will watch it. I think her 'inner child' is an 8-year-old boy.

[gaedhal.livejournal.com]

Boy, I must agree with everything here.

Worthington? WTF is that about? He's more wooden and
has deader eyes than the computer generated crap.

Harryhausen = Genius. This stuff can't compare. His
figures had personality. Those skeletons in "Jason
and the Argonauts"? They are better actors than
Worthington! And have more expression!

I know he's older, but I'd love to see the Neeson
who started out as Helen Mirren's Boytoy! Sexy and
bad and very large! (In every way if the gossip is
correct!)

[gaedhal.livejournal.com]

As cheesy as Hamlin might have been, he was closer
to the Greek ideal than Worthington, who is as far
from the Greek ideal of beauty and masculinity
as you could find.