erastes: (Default)
[personal profile] erastes

I’m pushing on with “I Knew Him.” Managed 800 words yesterday and today I’ve been reading it through and typing out a timeline of the book. The eye problems stalled it, but I think the recent discussions stalled it just as much—and I, as you know—will use any excuse for procrastination. I won’t say that the recent kerfuffle about women writing gay fiction didn’t dent my confidence, because it did, and that’s not me going into “victim” mode. I defy anyone who had their private parts, motivation,weight and character examined, discussed and eviscerated by people who doesnt know them from a bar of soap not to have a bit of the shine knocked off them. But I’m not letting it get me down!! All any of us can do is to continue doing what we’ve been doing, and doing it to the best of our ability. 

My mother was the one who taught me to “get back on the horse” and that’s something I’ve always done. Except once, when my horse had thrown me six times in a row and eventually my body refused to get up. I had to get back on the horse after a week in hospital, and that was a lot harder than getting straight back on, believe you me.

What I’m saying is that every one of us will be criticised at some point. (not only writers!) But as writers we’ll be lambasted for not writing the right stuff: Torn to shreds for writing vampires novels when they are so last Tuesday (despite the fact you’ve been writing them for 20 years). Write romance and you’ll be pandering to some mythical trailer trash, write murder mystery and you’ll never be able to measure up. Write sci fi and you’ll be sneered at if your science isn’t real. You’ll be the wrong colour, the wrong nationality, the wrong gender. If you are female you’ll be accused of disloyalty if you don’t write about females, and if you are male you’ll be attacked that you don’t know what it’s like to have a vagina.You’ll be accused of ignoring issues if you don’t write about them, and you’ll be accused of condoning things like slavery if you dare to write about it. You’ll be too serious, too flippant, too violent, too casual, too ambitious, too low-brow. Let’s be honest, it doesn’t matter what you do, someone’s going to find fault with it—and if you win the Booker, no-one will read you anyway!  LOL. (only kidding)

But despite there being these detractors, you’ll get letters from readers, and that is what will make you ignore all of the above and will make you pick yourself up and get back on that horse. I had the most amazing unsolicited letter last night from a man who had written to me before saying how he’d enjoyed my books. He’d read the whole debate, starting with the OUT article (which he found “heart-warming” bless him) and going through all the other places. What he said gave me that little push to know that being back on the horse is exactly where I want to be.

Date: 2010-09-10 04:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anderyn.livejournal.com
Someone actually discussed your WEIGHT?! That's so stupid. I mean, at least character is something that *might* remotely *in some possible world* bear upon writing, maybe, but someone's weight? What? Us people of size can't write skinny people? Sheesh.

Getting back on the horse is admirable, and I'm glad you're doing it. I have been re-reading all of my ebooks now that I have an e-reader, and I have been impressed again with your style and your characters.

Date: 2010-09-10 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erastes.livejournal.com
LOL - yes, the inimitable Ms Brownworth referred at least once to the fact that I was fat, some reference to cream cakes. Real Class I thought!

And thank you - that's very kind of you.

Date: 2010-09-10 04:46 pm (UTC)
ext_7009: (Default)
From: [identity profile] alex-beecroft.livejournal.com
I know it's a bit selfish of me, but I'm actually a bit reassured to know that this stuff dents your confidence too. I sometimes feel so spineless and such a coward because this stuff gets to me and takes away my motivation and desire to write. You have always been a lot stronger than me, so if it gets to you too, I don't feel quite so bad.

But yes, there's no place of safety for anyone, so we might as well carry on. Not writing any more is not really an option anyway.

Date: 2010-09-10 04:47 pm (UTC)
ext_3319: Goth girl outfit (Forgiven - adaptor)
From: [identity profile] rikibeth.livejournal.com
Sweetie, I recently borrowed Frost Fair from [livejournal.com profile] gehayi, and do you want to know what my only complaint was? IT NEEDED TO BE LONGER. Yes, I wanted MOAR STORY.

You're a lovely writer, that's what I'm saying. So take a page from Severus in my icon up there. Courage!

Date: 2010-09-10 05:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anderyn.livejournal.com
*waves shyly*

I just got an e-reader and have been trying to pick up "The Wages of Sin" from My Bookstore and More, but have been getting error messages, sigh, whenever I try to download it. I did love "Shining in the Sun", so I'm hoping that this will be another hit with me. I just wanted to say that I think you write lovely stories and that I'm sorry that you feel that "there's no place of safety" -- that is NOT how it should be for any writer. (I mean, bad reviews are one thing, but personal attacks are just .... beyond mean-spirited.)

*ends shy wave*

Date: 2010-09-10 05:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anderyn.livejournal.com
I have to admit I had a different picture of you in my head, but I suspect that's just because I figure most people are skinnier than me. :-) But "cream cakes" -- oooh. That sucks. That's just.... ooooo.

I am honest about my reading likes and dislikes, so if I ever don't like something, I'll certainly let you know. (As you probably recall from my discussion of not liking certain endings of certain books -- "Transgressions" in particular, since I still can't make out exactly WHY that's the end point, given that I'd love to know if they escape or not, and the story just doesn't feel finished to me. But that's ME.)

Date: 2010-09-10 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erastes.livejournal.com
I was going to email you, actually, because i had a feeling that you were dented and I wanted to help bolster you up, but I knew I'd be seeing you (if no-one else, LOL!!) on Sunday and we can raise a cupcake to them all then.

Exactly - not writing would make you much more miserable than writing. So lets just continue on and see where it goes. We've learned a lesson, painful as it was!!

Date: 2010-09-10 06:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erastes.livejournal.com
aw thank you - I'm glad you liked it. I know what you mean, and I wanted it to be a full sized novel, but it was contracted as a novella. I did plan to do a sequel set a few years later "the year of no summer" but haven't got around to it! Thank you again, dear.

Date: 2010-09-10 06:24 pm (UTC)
ext_7009: (Shining in the Sun)
From: [identity profile] alex-beecroft.livejournal.com
Hello! *Waves delightedly back* :) I'm sorry to hear about your problems getting hold of WoS. That book has been nothing but trouble from the start, but if you give me your email address, I can send you a copy, no problem. I'm overjoyed to know that you enjoyed Shining in the Sun :) It was a real challenge for me - writing a pure contemporary - so I'm in the strange position of always being surprised by that one. Which makes me very fond of it.

*g* Yes, I thought when I started that the only thing I had to fear was bad reviews, which I was quite prepared for. I wasn't prepared to have people assume that I'm a malicious, lying homophobe, simply because I write stories about two gay blokes who fall in love and I'm not one myself. It's been difficult to come to terms with the knowledge that people will believe terrible things of me without ever knowing me or reading my books. But I suppose that is a valuable lesson in what it's like facing the kind of prejudice LGBT people put up with every day. So I shouldn't complain too much :)

Date: 2010-09-10 07:06 pm (UTC)
ext_7009: (Damian - cake or death)
From: [identity profile] alex-beecroft.livejournal.com
I'm really looking forward to having a good chat on Sunday. I think it'll help all of us get a bit of our get up and go back :) (I hope so, anyway!) But I hadn't thought of cake! I've got biscuits, dips and fruit, but no cake. It's going to be a disaster now! ;) (I can always get some before I arrive.)

I've decided to leave UtH on the back burner for a couple of months and do a couple of lighthearted novellas. I think things have been too serious for too long.

Date: 2010-09-10 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tiggothy.livejournal.com
I think it finished there so we can all run off & write fanfic of it ;-)

Date: 2010-09-10 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erastes.livejournal.com
But where is it? :)

Date: 2010-09-10 08:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gehayi.livejournal.com
If you want, I'll post several prompts to the next [livejournal.com profile] smallfandomfest.

Date: 2010-09-10 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erastes.livejournal.com
LOL - I was only joking.

Date: 2010-09-10 08:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erastes.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you two have met - perhaps we ought to do more "meet my LJ friends" posts

Date: 2010-09-10 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tiggothy.livejournal.com
waiting for me to re-read ;-)
(though my own boys will get mighty jealous if I start writing about yours, lol)

Date: 2010-09-10 09:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anderyn.livejournal.com
Well, that is probably true. :-)

Date: 2010-09-10 09:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anderyn.livejournal.com
Is very jealous of the meet up. You're going to be very near my son (who is stationed at Lakenheath) but I'd probably have to force him at gunpoint to go to a m/m meetup. (He once, as a teenager, threw away a university LIBRARY BOOK about Chinese homosexuality that I'd gotten out for research. Sigh. Macho sons.)

Date: 2010-09-10 09:44 pm (UTC)
ext_7717: Lilian heart (Aziraphale also worshiped books)
From: [identity profile] lilian-cho.livejournal.com
a university LIBRARY BOOK about Chinese homosexuality

Do tell more. Is it men playing female roles and women playing male roles in theater? Anything outside of theater? Gayngsters?

Date: 2010-09-10 09:51 pm (UTC)
ext_7009: (Woman writing)
From: [identity profile] alex-beecroft.livejournal.com
We could do a little blog tour where we take over each others' LJs for a post. Although now I think about it, 'meet a friend' is probably more fun and less pretentious ;)

Date: 2010-09-11 01:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lee-rowan.livejournal.com
The bastards just make me angry. Blame it on the kids who bullied me in grade school, they say it either makes you timid or combative, and timid didn't work. The gall is simply astounding--especially when it's someone who's doing what she says we're not supposed to do, or that self-righteous youngster who thinks "writing m/m romance is my lifework" without ever saying what hers actually is.

I do think that Brownwhatsis snarking about your weight was about as low as it get. I could make remarks about her blog photo, too, but we're none of us as young as we were thirty years ago, are we?

If they can't walk their talk, never mind maneuvers, go straight at 'em. It's an opinion, and a biased one at that.

Have fun tomorrow (later today, for you)--raise a teacup and biscuit for me!

And you'd better let us know how the party goes--any chance of liveblogging?

Date: 2010-09-11 01:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lee-rowan.livejournal.com
It could be part of three linked novellas and sell as a trilogy...

Date: 2010-09-11 08:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] erastes.livejournal.com
I'm thinking of taking my laptop, depends on how weighed down I'll be - I'm definitely taking photos!

Date: 2010-09-11 08:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chris-smith-atr.livejournal.com
Evil laugh. See you tomoz xxxx

Date: 2010-09-11 08:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chris-smith-atr.livejournal.com
Woman. I will get cake. From a shop. So everyone survives. (I cannot bake)

Date: 2010-09-11 11:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] charliecochrane.livejournal.com
There should be at the very least a report on the Macaronis.

There'll probably be a report on the local East Anglia news when we get out of hand and the police are called in.

Date: 2010-09-11 11:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stevie-carroll.livejournal.com
You can't ever please everyone :-( You just have to write for yourself and for the people who will see things relevant to themselves in your stories.

See you tomorrow!


Date: 2010-09-11 05:24 pm (UTC)
ext_7009: (Default)
From: [identity profile] alex-beecroft.livejournal.com
Hurray for cake! And thank you :) With everyone cancelling at the last moment, we'll have a feast and not need pizza at all :)

Date: 2010-09-11 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chris-smith-atr.livejournal.com
There is Lemon Fudge and Chocolate Fudge. From Losely Park. :)

People who cancel will be PINNED WITH THE VERY BADGES I MADE THEM.

(They have turned out well)

Date: 2010-09-11 05:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chris-smith-atr.livejournal.com
The Ipad will be with me. Liveblogging will occur if Erastes does not taser me, and if I have reception!

Date: 2010-09-11 05:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chris-smith-atr.livejournal.com
East Anglia? I'm aiming for 6pm BBC Headline Article AT THE VERY LEAST!

Date: 2010-09-11 05:40 pm (UTC)

Date: 2010-09-12 09:02 pm (UTC)
ext_7009: (Default)
From: [identity profile] alex-beecroft.livejournal.com
They did turn out well :) Thank you! And the lemon cake was gorgeous :)

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