VD my love meme

[erastes]

The local cinema has delivered a load of chocolate. That's nice of them! *scoffs*

Ok, so another year passes and I still don't appear to have made it to Venice for Valentine's... So here's some Valentine's messages to those I love - anonymous of course, or rather in a break from tradition the giftees are anon but I hope you will spot yourself.  I don't normally go all mushy like this, but there's a big hole in my heart right now and the love has to go somewhere.


I love you. I know you don't read this journal but she does, maybe she can tell you.  I know I say that I love you regularly but I don't want you ever to think that it's not heartfelt and just a random collection of letters.  When I was 11 we became friends through the strangest of circumstances and *cough* years later you are still loving me, and I'm loving you.

I love you. You are the most infuriating person I know, full of contradictions and bravado and insecurities but I'm grateful that you never gave up on making me your friend and never taking no for an answer.  You shared my vices and helped me celebrate them, and I'm sure you helped-with our stupid multiple personality roleplay-unlock this wellspring of writing.  I'm so happy that you've found love, you SO deserve it.

I love you. I tell you every day and it still doesn't sum up what I feel about you. I stand in the shadow of your talent and gape in amazement at what you do with your stories. When you are away I feel like someone has taken the sun and my muse and all I can do is pace, bichon-like, until you come back. You've shared every second on my online life, it seems and if I am to be joined to the hip with anyone-and it seems I am with you, for all the good things and the tragic too-then I'm glad it's you.

I love you. I am dumbstruck at the way you grab life by the balls and make it behave.  You took a life-threatening illness and against all the doctor's gloom and doom have beaten it back and your determination to keep out of hospital is wonderful.  I love the way you decided to write and have watched, smiling, as you've gone from "I can't think of any plots" to now writing steadily in several genres.  I wish you every success. You deserve it, and I'll be there every minutes, cheering from the sidelines.

I love you. I love your northern stocism and your bugger it view on life.  You were the first person to read Standish, chapter by chapter as I wrote it, and it was your enthusiasm for the project that helped me continue in the early days. I love how you've coped with your illness and how you've made a haven for yourself and your cats. I may not see you from year upon year but the memories of student flats, broken showers and bedbugs are enough to make me smile. I love how you are always there to share my obsessions.

I love you. You have grown in talent and confidence in the years I've known you. You've broken away from a restrictive life and have done your own thing against the wishes of others and it's worked. You've made friends, and seem really happy, and if I had told you four years ago you'd be where you are now, you wouldn't have believed me. I love your lush way with words, your coloured posts and your positive stalking of a certain ballet boy.

I love you. You may not be real to most people, but you are real to me and it's a great deal to do with you that I have Rafe and Michael and Achille and various villians to come.  I love your arrogance and the way that fandom and Jason has made you more and greater than JKR had ever dreamed you could have been, they've taken your twisty little mind to their hearts and made you great.  You won't deserve whatever fate she gives you, darling, but you are welcome here with me forever.

Oh and 

I don't love you anymore.  You'll never read this, and I don't even know where you are, but you've lost your place in my life.  One day you'll need a mother and a sister and you'll realise that you'll never get one of them back and the other wants nothing to do with you.  I hate you for making me hate you

btw - there's a lot of others on my flist that I love, you all deserve a mention - so have a hug each.

Comments

I Hate Myself for Loving You!

[superqueeroes.livejournal.com]

That was very heartbreaking to read, but very intense. I enjoyed it. Hopefully you find love better than that one. I know I finally have. It took a lot of years to grow past my first love, but I found something better. Unfortunately, that first love still pulls at my heart, but I've made the decision to hold onto the love that returns it.
Keep searching with your heart,
Ellen

[aunty_marion]

*hugs* ♥

[tharain.livejournal.com]

Happy Valentine's Day, from the other side of the world (or, well, a good chunk of the way around it)

On top of Lucius!

[dubaiyan.livejournal.com]

We are not worthy!!!

[]

Lucius! <333

[lilian-cho.livejournal.com]

Happy V-day :-)

Also, sorta O/T: is it the custom in Venice to celebrate Valentine's day in mask and costumes? Because I was in Venice on Valentine 1997, and all the kids (and some adults) were wearing mask and costumes. Wait--or maybe it was Florence. Either Florence or Venice, can't remember.

[rwday.livejournal.com]

*sobs*

Not much I can say to that except I feel exactly the same way. Thank you.

Re: I Hate Myself for Loving You!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

It was very cathartic to do, one thing I've learned since mother dying is that I must tell people that I care for them while they are here.

The last one is about my sister, not a lover. She hasn't been in touch for years but she knew my mother had cancer (although we thought at that time that it was treatable and we werent panicking) and she rang about four weeks before she died and hasnt rung since - she hasn't rung since - she didnt even ring on xmas day (although it was too late even then, as mother had died on the 23rd). I dont think i'll ever be able to come to terms with that - and as far as I know she doesn't even know!

Thanks, hun

xxx

[erastes.livejournal.com]

*kisses*

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

Hope you had a good one

xxx

Re: On top of Lucius!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

*smooch*

xxx

Re: Lucius! <333

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Yes, Venice, it's not for Valentine's though, it's an ancient carnival that just happens to co-incide with Valentine's day

http://www.carnival-of-venice.net/?gclid=CNf0s-bsr4oCFRBiMAodNlfjqg#venice

[erastes.livejournal.com]

*icon lurve*

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Sorry I reply late... but yesterday was a very bad day for me and not because it was Valentine's Day. It is a good thing that you have more "I love you" that "I don't love you"... and your love is very special. And if you want to come in Venice, tell me: I can be a wonderful Cicerone!!!

[sabethea.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

To me, Valentine's day is a day for celebrating all sorts of love and friendship. I'm glad you've got good friends to celebrate :)

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Aw thanks hun, I'll take you up on that one of these days! I will go to a masked ball even if I'm 90 when i do it.

xxx

[erastes.livejournal.com]

*hug* thanks hun.

xxx

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Venice's Carnival is wonderful. Some people in Venice spent the whole year to prepare their mask. And there are some wonderful little shop that sell masks made with the real dress of the past centuries. ciao, elisa

Re: Lucius! <333

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

you are right Erastes. This year is only a coincidence that Valentine's Day is during the Carnival. In Venice the carnival has started the last sunday and finish next tuesday. The top days are between thursday gras (two days ago) and tuesday gras.

Do you know? one year I have had a college's test during mardi gras and I have to go to university passing through the chaos of masked people that parties on the street... it was an odd feeling.

Re: Lucius! <333

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I have only been there once, but it's my favourite place in the entire world. When I make my fortune (*G*) I will move there immediately.