Keeping track of your characters!

[erastes]

What do I mean by this?

You must always be aware of where your character is on the page - and what their arms and legs are doing.

Yes, this sounds like kindergarten advice but you'd be surprised how many books I've read where characters transport from one place to the other without any explanation.  I read one a while back where the heroine was sitting in a chair and then the next time she spoke she was standing by the door - scary stuff!  And the nanny just teleported into the room, holding the baby! I'm surprised that the heroine didn't faint of shock.

Similarly - and what caused this rantette - I read an excerpt of a book last night, you know, one of those promo things that get sent out, and the heroine was:

lying on a bed.
Kicking the hero
Punching the hero
The hero was holding her fist and her foot in his hands.
And the heroine was (in this position) rubbing her breasts and fanny against him, while all the time licking his ear.

What is this? A game of twister? All I can say to the author is "try and do this!"

Second Sight -   Has anyone played this game?  It's an excellent game, mostly stealth which I love, and using psychic powers to get past the bad guys but it has a MAJOR design flaw. Autosave.  Which means that you have to get to the end of your mission (which are fairly long) before it will save to disc - and if you turn the machine off - like to go to BED for example - you have to start right from the beginning again.  How bloody stupid is that??  Consequently my PS2 has been on now for 48 hours - that can't be good for it...

Comments

[alex-beecroft.livejournal.com]

Decent proofreading would be good too. If it's the one I'm thinking of the heroine was told to 'breath easy', and then she 'waived' her gun at the hero.

I can see how the above might work, though. Lying on her back with the hero sitting near her on the bed, she can kick and punch him from a supine position. He can catch the kick and punch, resulting in him holding her fist and foot. Even then, if she's reasonably supple, (and there's a bit of give in his hold) she should still be able to squirm into a kneeling position straddling him.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

*chokes* No - that's not the one but it sounds just as bad.

There's no way the heroine could have got herself into this position - I think that when she says the hero "relaxed" his grip, she meant he released his grip - then she'd have her arms and legs free. But then there were leaping cocks, and much worse.

[megleigh.livejournal.com]

LOL! Interesting game of twister there. I've just finished proofreading the first draft of my latest novel, and picked up a couple of breath/breathe confusions, and at least ONE howler of a continuity glitch. Fixed those, and now the story is with the beatas. (beaters, I think of them, as they tend to beat my gaffes into shape!)

Where would be without good betas and proof readers?

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Exactly - thank god for a second/third/more pair of eyes.

[crawling-angel.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, that sounds like something that might happen in my WIP...but even my ghostly boys have more control than to just pop up anywhere, lol. The Nanny/baby>>> I had a weird Acorn Antiques/Hand that Rocks the Cradle moment there...

Twister>>> *snort* Sounds more pain than fun even without whips and chains.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I admit to many continuity errors, but I hope that SOMEONE would spot them!!

[crawling-angel.livejournal.com]

I need a betta!

[ariadneelda.livejournal.com]

Your post made me laugh. :D There's also the thing when a character's hair/eye colour changes a bit after a few pages!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I've been guilty of that! Hee hee - and my MC's children's (yes, children!) changed names half way through!

[rikibeth.livejournal.com]

I come at writing from an RPG background, and since those have combat and movement systems, it's second nature for me to keep track of a character's physical positions.

Yes, even then. Especially then! Which is why my characters often end up left-handed -- because *I* am, and so if I start visualizing without thinking about it, that's how they do things, and then they do something important and I'm committed.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I think that's where I learned about movement and dialogue, for sure - I'm very grateful to RPG for that.

[angelabenedetti.livejournal.com]

Oh, definitely. [nod/eyeroll] And what's really fun is reading a sex scene where the writer clearly wasn't paying attention to everyone's position. Threesomes and moresomes are particularly good for this, but even with only two characters it can get tricky. Several times I've seen men put into a situation where one of the guys would need an extra joint or a cock three feet long, or both, to achieve penetration. :D

Angie

[erastes.livejournal.com]

This is one reason I haven't tried a 3-male threesome.. I'd be terrified of losing track!

[angelabenedetti.livejournal.com]

LOL! But the results are worth it if you can pull it off. :D

Angie

[lee-rowan.livejournal.com]

Never mind the body parts--how about the pronoun? "he said-he said" is the bane of m/m already.

Re the excessively flexible heroine--she wasn't the Librarian at Unseen U, was she? Because that might actually work.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

*chokes on tea *

[ggymeta.wordpress.com (from livejournal.com)]

I recall being told that I focus too much on this; it slowed my narrative to keep talking about what the characters were doing with the hands and feet, while having a conversation.

I'm so used to writing for artists, and telling them exactly what needs to be in a panel, that it carries over into my prose. ^_^

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I think there has to be a balance - you don't have to describe every single single movement of fingers or feet or something - but suddenly not being in a chair was a jolt!

[semioticwarrior.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, I must admit that the teleporting characters are a problem of mine. Since dialogue comes quickest and easiest, actions are either sketched incompletely, or left until another draft. This is one of the reason I'm a draftmonster and take *forever* to declare something finished. I'm so afraid of those little bastards teleporting and popping up and being on the phone then suddenly on one's lap. Ugh.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

But at least you spot it - this was published, so at least three people hadn't bothered to edit it!

[lareinenoire.livejournal.com]

::giggles:: Definitely good to keep track of stray limbs. I remember seeing that on a top ten list of Things To Watch Out For When Writing Action Scenes, but it applies to everything, I think.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Nod nod - action scenes are very tricky - I've only done a couple but found them very hard!

[mongrelheart.livejournal.com]

LOL! Well obviously the heroine is double-jointed and has an extra set of arms!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

She did have three hands too - one was being held by the hero and two more were around his neck.

[semioticwarrior.livejournal.com]

Wait...was this specfic? *hee*

[erastes.livejournal.com]

well - fantasy, anyway.

[oddnari.livejournal.com]

OH GOOD GOD YES!
I am so with you on that. Continuity and consistency are my biggest issues with any bit of writing!

What I abhor more than sudden physical shifts is sudden shifts into the world of INTERIOR MONOLOGUE (aka Trips to Dept of Back Story, Character-Building Ploy division). Like...

"Good morning," Lucius said, nodding to the room's sole occupant.

Kingsley stared at Lucius Malfoy, who looked ten years younger. It seemed as though his stint in Azkaban had not touched him at all. His hair shone, his eyes were clear and focussed, his voice had retained its old compelling touch.

Kinglsey remembered when he had entered the Ministry on his first day of Auror training, he had bumped into Lucius Malfoy. He remembered the way Malfoy's brow had quirked and his gray eyes had shown a glimmering of interest in Kingsley, who had glared at him, eyes narrowed in suspicion. Lucius Malfoy had been charged with being a Death Eater but had inveigled his way into the Ministry's good graces with the claim that he had been Imperiused by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named.

MEANWHILE LUCIUS MALFOY IS STILL WAITING FOR A BLEEDIN' ACKNOWLEDGMENT!

:)

[erastes.livejournal.com]

*laughs* Yes! It wouldn't kill Kingsley to acknowledge first, navel gaze later!

[lee-rowan.livejournal.com]

I could quibble that if Kingsley is technically the room's sole occupant, Malfoy isn't really there, which makes this a very strange POV.

[oddnari.livejournal.com]

No, Looshie isn't really there. He's in the doorway of Shacklebolt's office - I had to go back to the Pit of Voles and check the story.

So while the authoress gets high marks for grammar, she loses them for unintelligent logic :)