Mission completed and a homeless snippet

[erastes]

OK. MOT got with no hassle at all.

Phew.

Car tax ordered on line, so I’m covered. THANK GOD!

Bloody exhausted due to a week driving bazillions of miles to achieve something that should have been done in one day, so off for a swift siesta.

One good thing, I was bored waiting for the car this morning and wrote this. It’s going to be part of the new book—which hasn’t even got a name yet—wrote it on the back of one of my garage bills in longhand. :D  And have entirely no idea where this particular snippet will go. It’s first person here, but I really want it to be third when I write it, –I’ve done too much first person recently. Enjoy!

I watched his neck, the small, light hairs on the back of his pale neck, inches away but as far as the moon—and more guarded, as Edward watching us from the gloaming of the veranda—than any treasure before or since.

“Edward wants me to go to Rome with him.”  He paused then, flicking the ash over the edge, and taking another blue-grey breath.  Perhaps he was waiting for me to fill the silence with questions, recriminations; perhaps do something that justified both a moon and a landscape.  When I said nothing, stayed and trapped by the watchful stillness, he freed me.  “I think I will.”

I fought him, word for word, dispassion with the same. I could deflect him now. “If you think you should.  It is a good opportunity for you.”  Was he sophisticated enough to be hurt? Was I that petty?  It seemed so.  The wind caught the leaves of the tree beside us and the ground rippled with light and shade. He turned his face towards me, his cheekbones catching the light, and even if I had owned a camera, I could not have caught the sheer self-conscious pride he had of his hold over me.  The moment passed with the breeze.

“I’ve been there before,” he said, a little defiantly, perhaps daring me to question his motives.  if we had been schoolboys, he would have planted his feet astride, rolled up his sleeves in preparation for a challenge, a fight, a bloody nose.  Instead our weapons were nothing but cigarette smoke and a feigned boredom.

“I didn’t know.”

“'In ‘24.  Pater was an attaché there. He’d known Edward’s family for years.  I went out straight from school.”

I tried to imagine him then. Wide-eyed he’d have been, not this brittle know-it-all holding himself against the world.  He’d have been little more than a child, eating with his parents, meeting their friends. Ignored by all.  An overlooked irritant in a world he’d have to grow into, like a blazer bought two sizes too large.

- - - - - - -

Comments

[chris-smith-atr.livejournal.com]

finish memo. start on this. OR ELSE.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I wish I could get on with MM. I don't know what's stopping me. :(

[spindriftdancer.livejournal.com]

Boggles. They're tickling your toes while you sleep, and keeping you from properly resting your brain.

I hear it's a common complaint in England this summer.

(Nice snippet, btw.)

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I shall use that as an excuse. I was worrying that I was just frightened to finish the damn thing (see Alex's post on meta-writer for examples of this!!)

I'm glad you liked it, thank you!

[spindriftdancer.livejournal.com]

Yes, I read Alex's post, and realized with some chagrin that I resembled a few of those examples ;p I still resemble most of them, but I'm at least trying to do better...

And what's not to like? Tangled, pointy, witty, and well-written (:

[erastes.livejournal.com]

*blush*

[leatherdykeuk.livejournal.com]

sweet vignette.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[joannesopercook.livejournal.com]

I am full of love for your new snippet. LOVE ♥

LOL

[erastes.livejournal.com]

thank you, dear. I really must try and force to write it in 3rd. Far too much 1st and in 1st it's a little too JX-y, even though the plot is different.

[beckyblack]

The use of "Pater" totally made my day. That tells us a lot about that character and his background in one little word.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I'm very annoyed with myself because I'm allowing myself to think about this project, you know? And it's sort of subsuming Mere Mortals which NEEDS to be finished. The characters are blossoming, like sea monkeys, without me even touching them, and this scene hit me when I was sitting in smelly greasy garage with nothing but a pen and an invoice to write on. *glares at it and kicks it back into the background*

Thank you, it does say a lot about him, (although you know him just about the same amount as me) and it also says more about the differences between him and the narrator (neither of whom have names, you'll notice!!!!)

:) there are times i love writing and today is one of those days.

[beckyblack]

Bah, tell me about it. Here I am about to start the draft of a novel and another project keeps going around and around in my head. In fact I'm going to go type some stuff about it now, since doing that sometimes gets it out of the front of my mind for a while and lets me get back to the thing I'm meant to be working on right now.

[nagasvoice.livejournal.com]

Lovely, lovely dangerous snippet! I haul around little pocket-size spiral notebooks because of this tendency when waiting.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And good idea. I really really must do that. I've found an old dictaphone which i shall leave in my bag once i've got some batteries, as i'm often driving around and get hit by an idea - not a scene, but a plot. I've even taken to using a biro as a hair grip (yes, i can be the mad old lady now, and wear purple) so i've always got a pen!!