sadness and navel gazing

[erastes]

RIP Alexander McQueen.  So much to live for, but the death of a loved mother hits hard – so I can grok. 

“Blackguards!” is coming along.  1000 words yesterday – 1000 words today.  made 3000 words so far so you can see how long I've been writing it!

I’m being a little jig-saw puzzly about it at the moment while I “get the feel” of it.  Doing random bits to be inserted here and there or the gaps filled in later. 

I’m not entirely happy with how it’s going right now- what I need to do is to pluck up the courage to re-read Standish (or at least the parts after Fleury appears) and get back into Fleury's head.  Perhaps I’ll write some shorts or a novella and start the full sized novel later… Perhaps I’ll feel better when I see what the betas think. They are brutally honest and will tell me if they think it’s … heavy? stolid? DULL?  It’s just not FUN yet.  I suppose i feel that if he immediately starts enjoying himself he didn’t love Ambrose all that much, but then he does need to move on having left Ambrose behind. It's a puzzlement.   He's a man who enjoys life and he needs to start cheering up. *kicks him*

However, he's just ordered himself a rentboy so things aren't all that gloomy.  Couldn't find an authentic term for "renter" in 1820 so I'm going with bugger boys. Does exactly what it says on the tin.  I'm planning this to be a lot more sexy than what I've been writing recently as Fleury investigates a new country full of handsome young men from all over the world. It's like letting a kid loose in a sweet shop.  If you know an authentic word for renter btw - please let me know!

cystitis sucks. that's all i have to say about that. ouch.

There’s a film on called “Hidden Places”  - I very much doubt it’s about what I think it’s about.

Comments

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry about the cystitis. That sucks.

If Hidden Places is the film I'm thinking about, it's a love story between a farming widow and a hobo in California in the Great Depression. And not remotely porny. (Good God, not porny at all. It was made for the Hallmark Channel, for Pete's sake!)

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

As a note, cranberry juice is very good for cystitis.

[enolabloodygay.livejournal.com]

Funnily enough, I always thought Fleury WOULD instantly plunge into a heady round of shagging countless men, purely BECAUSE he loved Ambrose so much. Not being used to loving someone so deeply and unable to cope with such new emotions, he'd seek reassurance in his old ways, trying to pretend his life was still fine.

If you want people to realise how much he loved Ambrose, he can always feel vaguely unfulfilled after a shag then go for another to try to fill the gaping hole that Ambrose has left in his life.

Just my opinion, but then, I'm desperate for Fleury to get down and dirty!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I think you are right. He needs to stop being so bloody gloomy and I'll put him into denial instead. He can have a breakdown later or something.

*Grabs bugger boy and throws him on the bed*

Thank you!! Just what I needed!

[enolabloodygay.livejournal.com]

Always glad to be of assistance - and to get Fleury shagged!

And you are so good at those 'breakdown' scenes, can't wait to see how he suffers!

Ouch!

[mysid.livejournal.com]

Cystitis does suck; I empathize.

Re: Ouch!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

i have a secret weapon. i don't fanny around with cranberry juice i take a massive overdose of vitamin c via those fizzy vitamin c pills - that knocks it on the head in about half an hour! But it is horrid.