Oh What a disappointing lunch

[erastes]

We went to the Swan in Ingham, where we’ve been regularly for the past 3 years and found that they had had a refit, and had a new chef, new menu, new floor, new furniture.

Now it’s an ancient building. It was part of the stable block of the (destroyed by Henry 8th) monastery at Ingham and dates from around 1360. It’s been sensitively restored using the same brick and flint style you see all over this part of Norfolk. However the furniture (previously heavy gothic oak chairs and tables) is made of “something supposed to look like oak” and even got woven cane at the bar – wtf? - and is flimsy and doesn’t SUIT the building. They’ve put a pine floor down over the beautiful old stone flags. Why? Why why why??? The pine floor (perhaps a more suitable dance floor for parties?) BOUNCES every time someone walks past ruining your lunch – and worst of ALL.  The Menu is now “trendy-I-could-be-in-Masterchef-you-know” with jus and foam and wilted this and beds of that and drizzles of this and confits of something or other.

Look. I don’t mind trendy food. I appreciate today’s trendy food better than the nouvelle cuisine we used to get in the 80’s – at least you get a “plate of food” – but when I go out into the middle of NOWHERE to one of my favourite country pubs which does home made wholesome country pub food – I don’t want THIS.

Served on slabs of slate?  What’s with that? There’s no slate around here!  You just try and put gravy on it, and see what happens. Oh sorry. JUS.

If I want that kind of trendy city stuff, I will go to Norwich, because that is where it belongs.

WHERE’S MY STEAK AND KIDNEY PUDDING????? I tell you that I’m glad little Aslan isn’t round to see this, because if I’d had to go back out to the car (not that we would have taken him today with temperatures in the 90s) and had to EXPLAIN that there was only a bit of meat and a lump of crackling and a splodge of something and sorry, there was no S&K for him, he would have been heartbroken. As am I. 

*cries*  We won’t be going back. BAH.

Comments

[angrboda]

That doesn't look like enough food to satisfy a six-year-old... And what a bizarre excuse for a plate!!!

O.O

I'd take my business elsewhere too.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

And it's twice the price too. humph.

[vashtan.livejournal.com]

Works of art are exhibited, not EATEN.

(looks pretty... but... meh)

[beckyblack]

I'm sure that somewhere there are people whose job it is to spend all day thinking up stuff like this and if people actually fall for their ideas they get a nice bonus.

[rwday.livejournal.com]

Human beings invented dishes so we didn't have to eat off hunks of rock. I think this place is devolving.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

i wouldnt have minded so much if it was huge chunks of roasted mammoth or something.

[londonronnie.livejournal.com]

That's so sad. You can't beat a good old-fashioned country pub, and they don't need to do all this trendy stuff to be successful, believe me.

The landlord of one of my favourite pubs has informed me that the only reason he doesn't get top marks in the Good Pub Guide is because the pub isn't carpeted. To his credit, he refuses to cover the ancient slate floor - maybe that's why The Swan opted for the pine flooring.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

Off topic, but Icon Love!
I have a soft spot for Ni-ankh-khnum-ho-tep there.

[tiggothy.livejournal.com]

I don't understand the trend for using bits of slate instead of plates - and I live less than 10 miles from Snowdownia!

The only time bits of rock should be used as plates is when eating outside!

[semioticwarrior.livejournal.com]

Jus on a slate-plate! Sacrebleu!

[copperbeech.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's pretty and I can appreciate the artsiness of it. Of course it's never cheap, and one hopes it tastes good. But I'm with you. When I want food I want some damn real food.

[lee-rowan.livejournal.com]

Yet another of those trendy crap makeovers... what a shame.

Send them what you just wrote.

[valarltd.livejournal.com]

What is that? Honestly?
It looks like pizza leavings, something snipped at random from the back yard and what I scraped out of the back of the fridge.

I'll have the steak and kidney pie, thanks.

[iulia_linnea.livejournal.com]

Oh, pitiful slab dish! I'm sorry for your loss. The place sounds like it was just fine before they messed with it.

[enolabloodygay.livejournal.com]

I can only say - if you went to a greengrocer and he offered you wilted greens, you'd tell him you wanted fresh, wouldn't you?
So why would you go pay megabucks to have your lunch served on a bed of ancient greens? Fresh veg, lots of meat, roast taties, served in a pint of gravy (jus not allowed) and that's me happy.
May I go kill the new owners?
Pretty please.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Yes, you COMPLETELY may.