(no subject)

[erastes]

Things I don't want to happen in Book 7

1. Lucius to either remain withering in jail, OR dying pointlessly.

Jail: I agree with JKR that if Lucius thought that staying in jail was a useful place to be, then he'd stay there. I DON'T think that he's staying there because he thinks it's safe. He's already seen Voldemort break open the prison once, so he wouldn't be so silly as to think that he's beyond VM's reach in Azkaban. However, staying there for book six might be useful for him. There are a few prisoners there, I'm sure, who Voldemort DIDN'T free and might be feeling rather disenchanted with the whole regime, or he could be building up his contacts with the ministry. Who knows. One thing he wouldn't be doing, is hiding.

Dying: I fully expected Lucius to die in book six. Going on her "standard hero formula" she seems to be following, the penultimate scene in any saga should be the second in command taking on the armies of good and failing (see LOTR's with the Black Captain of the Nazgul) and I would have sobbed but I would have appreciated him going down like that. He would then leave the field open for the big showdown. Now – with so many plotlines whipping about like hawsers – I can't see how the hell she's going to resolve any of them satisfactorily to be honest. He'll probably attempt a pathetic coup and will be AK'd by VM which is a lot less than he deserves.

2. A big happy ever after.

Take a leaf from Tolkein, Jo. (and yes yes yes, I don't think the end of LOTR is happy, so sue me) Have the courage of your convictions. If it's a saga, then grow some and have the balls to write a saga ending. Sagas DO NOT HAVE HAPPY ENDINGS. Kids can take it; they've been taking it for years. Baldur dies, Frodo has to leave the place and people he loves, adds on non-spoilery endings to Narnia, His Dark Materials, and loads I can't think of right now. Don't slaughter everyone else (Voldemort, Peter, Snape, Lucius, Bella, Remus) for the benefit of Harry standing victorious at the end. We all know the little shit's got to die. Make my day.

3 Redeemed Snape.

I'm only echoing what others have said here. Snape has been the most brilliantly written character and what has probably kept us reading long after we lost patience with Ron's loss of intellect after book one, Hermione's loss of conscience, and Harry's loss… well, frankly, no, he's lost nothing – he had nothing to start with. Snape is everything that he should be, ambigious, devious, alluring and yet…. We don't know… and really, I don't think a lot of us WANT to know. The last thing I want is for Snape to sit down with Harry at the end, over a beer and Explain It All. "Thank goodness for that," said Snape with a relieved grin, "I don't think I could have kept up the pretence for a moment more. It all began back when…."

Puhleeze. Spare us. I think it was gunderpants who says that Snape should be playing the waiting game he always had, aiding and assisting all, and waiting for the king to die so he can assist the new king.

4 Any more bullying by the trio.

'Nuff said.

5 Any more Mr Thicky thick pants thickity thick thick Potter.

Who can't tell his arse from his elbow, one spell from another, recognise a big Sparkly sign of D00M™ when he sees it, and who could work out the Chamber at age 12, and the Stone location at age 11, but willingly flies into a BIG FAT TRAP at age 16.

6 Any other Head Teacher than Minnie.

*cheers on Minnie* and hopes she gets her personality back – she was robbed of it in Half-Baked Ponce.

7. Any more shipping.

At all. No, not even Ron and Hermione. I'm serious here. None. Ick ick ick.

8. Any more "Ginny is Sparkly-Sue."

Because she's an unfeeling cow with the empathy of a wart. I fully admit that she's the perfect match for Dead from the neck up Potter, but I don't want all these little hints of "She's been practising in secret" "she's very powerful" to start coming true. If she comes to the rescue of her man, I, for one will think very seriously about marching to JKR's house with a very whippy cane. And it won't have a cobra's head on the top.

Comments

[asphodeline.livejournal.com]

I can only agree wholeheartedly with them all, especially, well, all of them!!

and no happy ending, noooooooooooooooooooo soppy, happy stuff.

My biggest fear until recently (no idea why I changed) was that it woudl turn out to all be a dream, a la Dallas and Bobby! Aaargh

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Now THAT would be good, actually.

....Lucius opened his eyes, and lay there, eyes lost in thought. Now, what could have sparked that dream? He pulled the diary out from the bedside drawer and stared at it.

"I wonder...." he said, conjuring a quill.

"Tom?" he wrote, "Are you there?"

Half-expected, the words flashed across the page. "Yes... who's that?"

Lucius smiled. If the dream was an omen, then he was going to make sure it all happened very differently. Very differently indeed...

"I am your future..." he wrote, his eyes gleaming.

[asphodeline.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, fabulous. After this one, all possibilities will disappoint!