erastes

With contributions from gehayi

1. The reader will readily guess who the heroine will marry quite early on, but there will be OBSTACLES.*

2. The male character will own a big house on the moors. These moors are inevitably treacherous, making the female character a virtual prisoner. If she were to risk a brisk walk, she would get into peril from fog/quicksand/ strange locals and need to be rescued by her sneering male lead

3. You will never copy Austen’s Emma and make your female lead rich and in no need of money. This is DULL ** This is only allowed if she then loses said money due to her fiendish step-father’s gambling, or is disinherited for refusing to marry ardent but wrong suitor.

4. The heroine is either a well-born young lady of the nobility/gentry or a humble governess in straitened circumstances. She will always be lovely, even if she and everyone else thinks that she's hideous or pathetically plain.

5. As to appearance. She will be a blonde or a brunette. Regency heroines never have auburn tresses of the heroines of earlier romances because we all know that auburn=sexually active and although our girl is chased she is certainly chaste. She will described as “willowy” but graceful.

6. The heroine will be good. This is vital. She will do good works, she is empathic (except in the case of the MISUNDERSTANDING(***)) and her eyes (which must either be “fine” or “blue pools”) are frequently filled with tears.

7. If the hero is in the army, he will have a bosom friend, a fellow officer. These two are seemingly inseparable but the thought of them being “unnatural” will enter no-one’s mind. Or almost no-one

8. The hero will be a (redeemable) rake or seemingly unable to express his love (see MISUNDERSTANDINGS(***))

9. If there is a highwayman, or a pirate, he will be an aristocrat in disguise, seeking to redeem the lost fortunes of his house. Or it will be woman, but she’ll probably have red hair.(****)

10. If the heroine is forced to marry a wicked rake, their marriage will not be consummated.

11. The heroine will never be downtrodden. She can stand up for herself and will be well able to cope with anyone's witty banter, and read and write, particularly beautiful letters, despite the fact that her parents were inbred peasants and her sisters bimbos.

12. If there is a female character who is feisty and flirtatious, she will be no better than she should be and will come to a BAD END(****)

13. The heroine will have the courage to marry beneath her if that's what it takes to find true love. However, should she do this, one of her sisters will marry into the nobility and invite the heroine and her new husband to all of the functions from which they would normally be excluded.

14. Poverty can never impact the purchase of food, heat, and above all, fashionable clothing. If the heroine has nothing else to wear but a turned or dyed dress of several seasons ago, she will look better than anyone else in the room. Despite being the daughter of a nobody, she will have no trouble being accepted into the greatest houses in the land.

15. There will be a major MISUNDERSTANDING (***) which will threaten the happiness of all.

16. (rmanly) A Regency writer is required to read every Georgette Heyer book in existence if she wishes to claim the honor of being a true Regency expert.

16a (gehayi) Corollary: However, reading novels that were actually written during the Regency (i.e., anything by Jane Austen) and doing research into the period is not only not required to be a true Regency expert, but may actually be frowned upon by your peers as hopelessly elitist.

17. (junediamanti) In order to prove 16 and disprove 16a one is required to throw in Regency references and phrases such as: Damme, sirrah (or better still, D----, sirrah, Pon rep, sink me, delope, first stare, sprig muslin, most of which were invented by Heyer, but are just as good for didn't she invent the Regency novel? Using z's instead of s's such as surprize gains you bonus points with the discerning reader.

(*) OBSTACLES: These may include, but are not limited to: A disapproving father/mother/aunt who holds the purse strings, a wife still living, poverty, disparity in rank, an ardent alternative suitor, a wicked step-parent or guardian or the hero or the heroine’s indifference and indeed seeming dislike to the other.
(**) DULL See (1)
(***) MISUNDERSTANDING. Although both sides are madly in love with each other due to an interfering 3rd party they will both think the other doesn’t care. This will not be allowed to be resolved until the penultimate or –better still – the last chapter.
(****) BAD END. Shot as the disguised highwayman, killed by the evil rake, reduced to prostitution, banished to France, or worst of all - remaining unmarried.