Three dwarves that never made the cut: frustrated angry and bitchy

[erastes]

I'm frustrated: I'm trying attempting (or ratherthe domain owner and my webhoster are attempting) to transfer the Erotic Authors Association to my hoster and the site's been down for days. I'm assured that everything that should have been done HAS been done numbers input etc but still the site is coming up as not available. I could cry - this kind of thing happens to me all the time, things that seem so simple when other people manage them, and I touch them and it's like the touch of D00M.

*tears out hair* It's not just me that's affected here, it's several HUNDRED people and the responsiblity is making me so stressed I can't think straight. Cripes, imagine what I'd feel like if it was a paying organization!

And then I got THIS message on MySpace which disgusted me more than amused me.
(Italics are my reactions, btw)
Hello,

I was just going through your profile and your picture got blood jumping around in my veins

Ok - so you like underage boys, then?

like a ball on a roller coaster...

Huh? Why would a ball on a roller coaster jump?

Complimented with a beautiful profile..

Of which I have none.

.I momentarily knew i had to meet you... I'm Ron Thom,

Weren't you in Legend?

and i do a lot of things and most especially among them is this( I love designing)

What?

Lets get talking, you may just earn yourself a friend who'll treat you like a Diamond....

clamp me in soft metal? cut me with lasers? I've never understood this stupid expression because a diamond is only at risk from OTHER DIAMONDS.

I decided to write you an email confirming my interest in you. I am new at this whole thing...i just thought of dedicating my time into it and see what comes out of it for me.

And that selfish comment would stop me dead.

I'm a professional Contractor, i do build houses & Roads,

Oh joy. Just what an author needs. A navvy. With no ability to write proper English

i maintain the Lord's gift in my life bcos am good in Art & sculpture

Not only faux religious but pretentious too

so i do sometimes organise trade fair exhibiton for upcoming artist.

And this is relevant to me in any way - why?

I can relocate for the right woman,

Oh PLEASE move to Norfolk UK right now. I'll be lying here naked.

I will like you to get back to me on my personal email address because i do check it most time both at home and at work

Not really desperate then

YUK. This is him,

Comments

[zoepaleologa.livejournal.com]

Oh PLEASE move to Norfolk UK right now. I'll be lying here naked.

*snickers* *offers loan of body oil* This sounds like a hot date, right?

*giggles hysterically, goes off to hang the washing out with a smirky face*

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I hate MySpace. I hated it before this, but this gives me every reason to loathe its complicated stupid guts.

I can't IMAGINE what he saw in me to give him the impetus to spam me. Unless he spammed every "single woman over 21" on MySpace.

Grrrrr.

*drinks body oil*

[elisa-rolle.livejournal.com]

Wow, why I receive only message about how beautiful is my background and you receive a love letter? I think I have wrong something... I joke, do you know. It's a little fearing receive a letter like this from someone you don't know, who speak of relocating and commitment to someone stranger. Brrrr.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

It's horrible - and creepy! My picture there is the same as over here.

Very creepy.

[julesjones]

I assumed that it was, which is why my first reaction was that you should forward the email to the police...

I stay out of Myspace, particularly on days when I already have a migraine (no, I'm *not* joking), so I don't know whether your profile shows your actual gender and age.

[enolabloodygay.livejournal.com]

Get yer coat, you've pulled!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Shut up, you.

[enolabloodygay.livejournal.com]

Shan't!

How do you like your eggs in the morning?

[asphodeline.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha!! *wipes tears away*

You notice he has only three friends poor boy!! I do be liking his use of the English too. The pic doens't look like a navvy but the job description sure sounds like one.

Lol, better than the usual offers of viagra and penis extensions!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I bet you anything that he needs both of those things....

[galadhir.livejournal.com]

Why, if he's an elderly man from Minnesota, does he write like a Nigerian scam artist?

[erastes.livejournal.com]

You are very right! He does!

[mzcalypso.livejournal.com]

My favorite dwarves are Sleazy, Dumpy, and Gropey...

You could try the flight-attendant dodge... send him your phone number. Well, not your own--find a pest-control service and use that.

Or you could just tell him that the pic he's drooling over is an underage boy. That should take his cork under. >8-D

[erastes.livejournal.com]

I'll be Dumpy. I think he's Gropey.

that makes you Sleazy!

I just blocked him, it makes my skin crawl. ick ick ick