Ranty rant rant

[erastes]

well, had a nice lunch - went out to the pub with kerry and had sausages and parsnip mash. yum.

Now I just have to RANT. What the heck is up with the Nanny mentality? I was just wondering at how many literary magazines the Americans have for children and bemoaning that we don't have the same kind of habit over here. (cruising www.duotrope.com btw) and then I come across "Jack & Jill Magazine" and this is the tripe they have in their submission info: Granted it's a "health orientated" magazine - but STILL!!

"Ages 7-10. 500-800 words. Characters in fiction should adhere to good health practices, unless failure to do so is necessary to a story's plot. Remember that characters in realistic stories should be up-to-date. Many of our readers have working mothers and/or come from single-parent homes. We need more stories that reflect these changing times but at the same time communicate good, wholesome values."

Well goodness me.

Ok. Let's re-visit some of our early adventure stories with that in mind shall we?


*James* - a relatively poor boy from a single parent family, lives with his working mother above a public house. It's not the best environment for a poor lad, as he has to suffer passive smoking and he gets little sleep because the naughty sailors who populate the public bar are often singing into the night. He has to work before and after school to cope with the lodgers that his mother brings into make ends meet. There are no bathing facilities and no-one has yet invented toothpaste yet. He looks at the sailors with some dismay and realises that one day he will have no teeth. One day he goes sailing with some older men which is a much healthier environment.

*George *lives in the country with her Dog Timmy. There is no Frontline flea treatment in the 1950's and George is bitten regularly. She is forced to live on a terribly unhealthy diet of pound cake, fish paste sandwichesand lashings of ginger beer. She does however, despite eating very little fibre, gets a lot of exercise with her three friends, Dick Anne and Julian.

*Harry,* an orphan is practically starved by his evil family. In spite of this, he has not developed ringworm or rickets and has good teeth. He goes to school in Scotland and despite the freezing weather and months of snow wears no thermal underwear. However he's an amazingly healthy little chap, and he's never ever had a cold or flu. Jamie Oliver doesn't become famous until 1996, so sadly the school continues to serve the most unhealthy options full of transfats. It would seem that house elves have never heard of sun dried tomatoes or olive oil, and the children are force fed a diet of steak and kidney pie, and their main source of liquid is pumpkin juice, which isn't good for the teeth. Despite this, wizards (unless blown up or eaten) live even longer lives than people in the mediterrnean, so perhaps eating fatty food is better for one than one thinks. Despite participating in an active and dirty sport, Harry has only had one bath in six years.


I could go on, but I'd rather like to hear your versions!!

Comments

[asphodeline.livejournal.com]

Considering I grew up with favourites Andy Pandy, the Magic Roundabout and read stuff like Alice in Wonderland it's now surprise I went into therapy early!

(I'll do a proper comment later on!)

[asphodeline.livejournal.com]

um, "no" surprise. Can't type anymore :(

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's a surprise we aren't all barking mad. Read the other precis people have done, so brilliant.

xxx

[ariadneelda.livejournal.com]

That obsession with political (or health in this case) correctness just irks me. Maybe because we don't have that obsession here - far from it. I grew up reading books and comics that were anything but politically correct but that didn't affect my ability to judge what's right/wrong or fair/unfair etc. Or eat healthy food for that matter! (Well, as healthy food can be in today's society.) But ever since I started interacting with other people through the Internet I suddenly started to be careful of what I say because I realised people in other countries might be offended by your choice of words. Like, I once used the term 'Third World country', having no idea it might sound offensive. In Greece it's considered something perfectly normal to say, especially since Greeks used to think of their own country as a Third World one until a few decades ago. Okay, I think I digressed a lot and maybe even went off topic but... well.

And that second book you mention? That used to be one of my most favourite novels when I was a little kid!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

ter369 below explains that it's a magazine bought by doctors and dentists and now it makes sense. It's a safe market for the publisher and the more of that sort of story and article are in the mag, the more likely the practionisher is going to buy it. Nod.

[ariadneelda.livejournal.com]

Ah, okay. Yes, in this case it does make sense.

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

Who are James and George?

Let me toss in one of my old favorites:

Pippi -- Lives all alone in a small town in Sweden. She has no parental supervision whatsoever, as her mother is dead and her father is off in the South Seas being a king of cannibals.

Her living arrangements clearly are not sanitary, as she cleans her house only sporadically--stirring up a great deal of dust as she does so; is inclined to let broken eggs dry on her hair; has been known to put cans with jagged edges over her head; and resides with a monkey, who may or may not be housebroken. She also has a horse that lives on her uncleaned porch. She owns only one dress (blue with red patches), and wears shoes the size of boats, which logically should have her tripping and injuring herself every two seconds.

Pippi does not believe in conventional medicine, and is inclined to use magical incantations or the practice or "cheering up" the sick person in order to effect a cure. When her best friends are ill with measles, she climbs up to their window every single day; despite repeated exposure to the measles virus, she never becomes ill.

Pippi is likewise reckless, as she is inclined to wrestle robbers, talk sense to man-eating sharks, and walk a tightrope into and out of a fire.

However, despite her unsanitary, unwholesome, unconventional, and reckless lifestyle, Pippi is dismayingly and unrealistically healthy. Definitely NOT Jack & Jill material.

[mysid.livejournal.com]

"James" is Jim in Treasure Island.

[rwday.livejournal.com]

George is from an Enid Blyton series called 'The Famous Five'. I read a few of them when I was growing up, but they were HUGE in the UK.

*loves Pippi!*

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Bwahahahaha! Love it. I adored Pippi Longstocking and so wanted to be her. But yes, in today's world, they would have had her in a home quicker than you could say cannibal!

Thank you!

xxx

[mysid.livejournal.com]

*Tom,* also an orphan, is raised by an aunt who can't seem to cope with her parental responsibilities and allows the boy to largely run wild. She only tries to enforce bathing once a week, and even that he avoids. He does however enjoy swimming in muddy river water. His diet consists largely of refined starches and cured meats--although he enjoys fruit when he can steal it. He avoids wearing shoes even though he lives in an area inhabited by flesh-burrowing insects and has never had a tetanus shot. In fact, he's never had any vaccinations for childhood diseases. When plagued by a minor health problem (ie. warts) he does not turn to a physician, but instead attempts a home remedy which eventually puts his life in danger.

(PS. I don't recognize George's book.)

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Oh dear... *giggling madly* This is brilliant! And aren't there horrible things in the Mississippi too? Leeches at least? I did love Tom so much...

George is from "The Famous Five" by Enid Blyton. All very English and Jolly Good Fun!

[ter369.livejournal.com]

Chiming in from the USA: Jack & Jill Magazine is found in every medical waiting room, from doctors to dentists, and is often the first thing kids are given to fill the time while waiting for their appointment.

I'm not surprised at their call for submissions, as that matches the content. It's not an urban magazine, nor an edgey source of tales for Young Adults. I am surprised that the publishers acknowledge anything has changed in society since 1961.

I love your summary of Treasure Island's setup with "James".

[erastes.livejournal.com]

Ahhhh. Now it begins to make sense. They have a captive (and HUGE) market with all the doctors and dentists in the country. Thank you for clearing that up.

I have a good mind to send them all these little precis, to explain that tutoring kids about health isn't exactly going to want to make them want to read adventure stories about heros with tooth floss.

*G*

[ter369.livejournal.com]

They have a captive (and HUGE) market with all the doctors and dentists in the country.

Captive, indeed. I finally began enjoying going to the family dentist (and waiting) when we switched to Dr. Chase who also stocked Thor and Spiderman comics in the lobby.

[kenazfiction.livejournal.com]

Alice has little parental supervision and is left in the care of her sister, who shows more interest in books than in babysitting. Alice wanders off and blithely partakes of a number of less-than-stellar nutritional items, including unidentified beverages, cakes, hallucinogenic mushrooms, tea and tea-related snacks. Few organized and adult-monitored physical fitness activities are available to her, and those she is encouraged to engage in include animal abuse thinly disguised as croquet. When she stands up to adult authority, she is assaulted. And then she wakes up, ostensibly phobic of all food, playing cards, and rabbits.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

That's true. If they complain today about Harry Potter encouraging Satanism and Wiccanism, then for goodness' sake, Alice must encourage, at the very least, experimentation with bottles of strange liquids and odd mushrooms.

Lashings of ginger beer!!

[dubaiyan.livejournal.com]

*lmao*

Re: Lashings of ginger beer!!

[erastes.livejournal.com]

It's true! I wonder if that phrase WAS actually in the books tho, or whether its just become a myth...

Re: Lashings of ginger beer!!

[rosie-red73.livejournal.com]

I still have half a dozen upstairs, I'll have to look. :D

[rwday.livejournal.com]

You know, even with all the Nannyism, stories about shiny children with good health habits aren't what kids actually read. This sort of call for subs is what a particular sort of adult wants kids to read, which isn't at all the same thing.

Charlie suffers from borderline malnutrition, and yet the adults in his family encourage him in his obsession with chocolate bars. You never see him brush his teeth. His role models are four senior citizens with terrible exercise habits who would be far better off if they'd get out of bed and take an aerobics class.

[erastes.livejournal.com]

It's horrible that there are parents who want their kids to read specific things. My mother let me read just about anything, but made sure that I was supplied with the core of children's literature, which I could pick up or not. Of course I did - because books have to be read.

I only remember her dissauding me from reading enid blyton. She didn't buy me any of her young children's books at all, like NOddy and The Far Away tree, which to this day I still haven't read. Not because she believed in the idiocies of political correctness of allegations of racism, but because she thought they were poorly written. She only read Philopsher's stone, too. She had no interest in reading any of the others for the same reasons, she was distinctly unimpressed with JKR's writing. But again, she didn't tell me that until I started discussing the Spork with her, like then, she let me form my own opinions. Everyone should have her for a mum.

However it did cause me to read as much Blyton as I could lay my hands on, when I could get it!

I love your take on Charlie - so true! And their dietary habits were dire, they only ate cabbage! I beleive you CAN live on cabbage, but it's not something I'd like to try.

[rwday.livejournal.com]

My parents didn't care what I read at all. I do remember my father raising an eyebrow when I came into this work one afternoon (I used to walk to the university library after school and then meet him at 5 for a ride home) with a book called something like 'Maggie D: Portrait of a Teen Hooker' but he let me read it.

I'm trying to think what an American equivalent of Blyton would be - with my kids' generation it would have been R.L. Stine or the Babysitters Club books, but in my day, not sure. Things like the Bobbsey Twins and Nancy Drew maybe.

I'd forgotten about the nothing but cabbage, so yes, that makes it even worse!

[rosie-red73.livejournal.com]

I must just say - sorry this is so ridiculously long but this is SUCH a sore point with me, and you know how I ramble when I get going. *sigh*

I was a Blyton WHORE as a child. I've actually just been re-reading The Faraway Tree with Sam and I still love it. I'm not entirely sure whether it's poorly written or not and it's certainly outdated but really, the concept did it for me regardless of the rest of it. I mean seriously, a tree that has a different magical land at the top of it each week? I must have spent hours and hours inventing new ones - it was like brain fuel. An indication of how long these books stayed with me - I remember coming up with a very detailed sex land once. I'm guessing I was out of the 7-10 age bracket by then.

But back to the point - I do get really irritated with all the Nanny stuff. Kids are waaaaay more perceptive than people give them credit for - they can spot a 'message' a mile off, even at Sam's age and if they think they're being lectured or manipulated, they just won't listen. Why do they think Horrid Henry is so popular at the moment? Because he eats trash, tortures his little brother and is basically a lazy, rude little sod. It's REAL, and kids know that. They learn from it - they learn about consequences, that if you nick a pile of sweets and eat them you'll probably puke, and if you manage to get away with murder you probably won't have any friends, but they learn from it in a way that they can actually relate to.

I know a lot of the older books have been disposed of or changed now which is just a horrific crime. I personally don't see what's wrong with a kid reading anything as long as you're on hand to discuss it with them.

We've read ridiculously outdated stuff that we've found at second hand book shops and fetes and stuff - pre-war, Edwardian even, and as long as I explain to him WHY Tom's father appears to be physically abusing him without anyone batting an eyelid, or why Fanny (really) has to help mother with the housework while Dick gets to sit with father in the study and read, then it's actually a very valuable educational tool.

[asphodeline.livejournal.com]

I LOVED the Faraway tree - and I had a sex land too!!!! Maybe I just fell through the trap into yours?

[rosie-red73.livejournal.com]

Hahaahaha! Oh yeah, baby. You and me. Sex land :D *does a pointy-finger wink thing, you know the one I mean*

These days I'd just like a money land and a sleep land. Once I'd had a couple of months in those I might start thinking about the sex land again.

[rosie-red73.livejournal.com]

Hey, don't knock it. Elizabeth Hurley lost her baby weight that way, you know.

[tammylee.livejournal.com]

Oh! I have one of her books, The Wishing Chair Again. I thought it was okay, as a Canadian kid I found the descriptions of the 'exotic' British desserts fascinating. Blanch Mange in particular was very exciting to me; although now that I have seen it, not so much. =p

The book itself was very primary, imo.

[maidenform.livejournal.com]

LOL!!!

I love the last one. And seriously, people need to let their kids read what they want.

[tammylee.livejournal.com]

Without inattentive parents and inadequete supervision there would be significantly fewer children's adventures. XD

I am not clever enough today to come up with a story, sorry!