Book 7 Spoilers! Don't read!

[erastes]

gehayi and I were IM'ing the other day and there were predictions for HP Book 7 everywhere so we came up with our own.

These are hers and

These are mine

The book will begin on 30th July.

It will be summer at the start of the book.

It won't be raining

Harry will be moping about, although a little fearful about What Will Happen when he's 17

The only people who have been in touch are ron and Hermione (he's killed all his other friends)

Vernon will bristle, ejaculate or turn puce at some point.

Dudley will be referred to as fat about 10 times in chapter 1

Mrs Dursley will be horse-faced.

There will be an argument and illegal magic will happen, whether accidental or not.

At Midnight Voldemort will be able to find Harry and kill him. (just hopeful)

There will be bullying in the book, by teachers and pupils.

Harry has his mother's eyes.

Remus will be shabbier than ever.

Regulus will look like Sirius

Sirius will still be dead.

Harry will be a selfish git

Remus will not be gay

Minerva will be woefully underused

Percy will not turn out to be evil, or even interesting at all despite all the set up

Hermione will (like Ron) have lost the promise of her youth and doesn't appear to be as clever as she once was.

Trelawney will drink sherry

There will be a new DADA teacher

Someone will mention that DD is dead, at least every chapter. This is probably just to lull us into a false sense of security as he will leap, pantomime-like out from a cupboard saying "ah ha!" in the last chapter. Sadly.

Lucius will remain in prison.

Draco will be blond

Voldemort will make his move in June, despite the fact that Harry's left the school.

Crookshanks hasn't materialised into anything other than a big fat ginger cat.

The Death Eaters still can't beat children at duelling.

Voldie will grandstand.

Firenze will be vague.

Only about an eighth of the plot holes will be filled

Hers are better.

Oh

and

There will be WANK.